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Raistlin

Super Moderator
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About Raistlin

  • Rank
    Raistlin
  • Birthday 01/01/1968

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  • First Name Raistlin

Profile Information

  • Contributor 5
  • Gender* Male
  • Toyota Model Aygo Blue
  • Toyota Year 2007
  • UK/Ireland Location Surrey

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45,973 profile views
  1. Raistlin's Joke Page

    I bought a packet of crisps with a new flavour using Rohypnol seasoning. They are made by 'Stalkers'...
  2. Raistlin's Joke Page

    If at first you don't succeed, Try doing it the way your Husband told you...
  3. Raistlin's Joke Page

    My girlfriend told me I suffer from a lack of imagination, I said, "Yeah? Well you suffer from a lack of imagination", That showed her...
  4. Raistlin's Joke Page

    BBC News - "World's smallest man dies age 22", One foot in the grave...
  5. On This Day

    585 BC - Thales Miletus predicted a solar eclipse. 585BC - The Persian-Lydian battle ended. 1533 - England's Archbishop declared the marriage of King Henry VIII to Anne Boleyn valid. 1805 - Napoleon was crowned in Milan, Italy. 1863 - The first black regiment left Boston to fight in the U.S. Civil War. 1892 - The Sierra club was organized in San Francisco, CA. 1900 - Britain annexed the Orange Free State. 1918 - Azerbaijan declared independence. 1928 - Chrysler Corporation merged with Dodge Brothers, Inc. 1929 - Warner Brothers debuted "On With The Show" in New York City. It was the first all-color-talking picture. 1934 - The Dionne quintuplets were born near Callender, Ontario, to Olivia and Elzire Dionne. The babies were the first quintuplets to survive infancy. 1937 - U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt pushed a button in Washington, DC, signaling that vehicular traffic could cross the newly opened Golden Gate Bridge in California. 1940 - During World War II, Belgium surrendered to Germany. 1953 - The Walt Disney film "Melody" premiered in the Paramount Theatre in Hollywood. The picture was the first 3-D cartoon. Disney movies, music and books 1957 - National League club owners voted to allow the Brooklyn Dodgers to move to Los Angeles and that the New York Giants could move to San Francisco. 1961 - Amnesty International, a human rights organization, was founded. 1976 - The Peaceful Nuclear Explosion Treaty was signed, limiting any nuclear explosion - regardless of its purpose - to a yield of 150 kilotons. 1977 - Fire raced through the Beverly Hills Supper Club in Southgate, KY. 165 people were killed. 1985 - David Jacobsen, director of the American University Hospital in Beirut, Lebanon, was abducted by pro-Iranian kidnappers. He was freed 17 months later. 1987 - Mathias Rust, a 19-year-old West German pilot, landed a private plane in Moscow's Red Square after evading Soviet air defenses. He was released August 3, 1988. 1995 - An earthquake in the Russian town Neftegorsk killed at least 2000 people. It had a magnitude of 7.5. 1996 - U.S. President Clinton's former business partners in the Whitewater land deal were convicted of fraud. 1998 - Pakistan matched India with five nuclear test blasts. The U.S., Japan and other nations imposed economic sanctions. Pakistani Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif said "Today, we have settled the score with India." 1998 - Dr. Susan Terebey discovered a planet outside of our solar system with the use of photos taken by the Hubble Space Telescope. 1999 - In Milan, Italy, Leonardo de Vinci's "The Last Supper" was put back on display after more than 20 years of restoration work. 2002 - Russia became a limited partner in NATO with the creation of the NATO-Russia Council. 2015 - The Observatory at One World Trade Center officially opened.
  6. Happy Birthday Guys

    straydog7350 (62 years old) elpirata (52 years old) Messyuni (38 years old) SuperRetard (36 years old) DeejDaMechanic (31 years old) SussexSteve (47 years old) foolsgold1970 (46 years old) CPB299 (28 years old) sawan (37 years old) Bob44 (105 years old) fez1234 (27 years old) Crasstoe (27 years old) g6r rolla (26 years old) Jamiejsw (33 years old) tangiblesolid (51 years old) Compact culture (31 years old)
  7. Raistlin's Joke Page

    Just bought 8 legs of Venison for £50.00, That's too dear isn't it ?...
  8. Raistlin's Joke Page

    Whenever I see a girl I find attractive, I'm always too afraid to go over and talk to her, In case I make a Freudian Slutt...
  9. Raistlin's Joke Page

    asked my neighbour what he did for a living and he told me he was an artist, I couldn't believe it so I asked him to prove it, He took major offence at my comments and stabbed me with his pencil, I now know he is an artist because he drew blood...
  10. On This Day

    1647 - Alse Young (Achsah Young or Alice Young), a resident of Windsor, CT, was executed for being a "witch." It was the first recorded American execution of a "witch." 1668 - Three colonists were expelled from Massachusetts for being Baptists. 1813 - Americans captured Fort George, Canada. 1896 - 255 people were killed in St. Louis, MO, when a tornado struck. 1901 - The Edison Storage Battery Company was organized. 1907 - The Bubonic Plague broke out in San Francisco. 1919 - A U.S. Navy seaplane completed the first transatlantic flight. 1926 - Bronze figures of Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer were erected in Hannibal, MO. 1929 - Colonel Charles Lindbergh and Anne Spencer Murrow were married. 1931 - Piccard and Knipfer made the first flight into the stratosphere, by balloon. 1933 - Walt Disney's "Three Little Pigs" was first released. Disney movies, music and books 1933 - In the U.S., the Federal Securities Act was signed. The act required the registration of securities with the Federal Trade Commission. 1935 - The U.S. Supreme Court declared that President Franklin Roosevelt's National Industrial Recovery Act was unconstitutional. 1937 - In California, the Golden Gate Bridge was opened to pedestrian traffic. The bridge connected San Francisco and Marin County. 1941 - U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt proclaimed an "unlimited national emergency" amid rising world tensions. 1941 - The German battleship Bismarck was sunk by British naval and air forces. 2,300 people were killed. 1942 - German General Erwin Rommel began a major offensive in Libya with his Afrika Korps. 1944 - U.S. General MacArthur landed on Biak Island in New Guinea. 1960 - A military coup overthrew the democratic government of Turkey. 1964 - Indian Prime Minister Jawaharla Nehru died. 1968 - After 48 years as coach of the Chicago Bears, George Halas retired. 1969 - Construction of Walt Disney World began in Florida. 1977 - George H. Willig was fined for scaling the World Trade Center in New York on May 26. He was fined $1.10. 1982 - Japan announced the elimination of tariffs on 96 industrial goods. 1985 - In Beijing, representatives of Britain and China exchanged instruments of ratification on the pact returning Hong Kong to the Chinese in 1997. 1986 - Mel Fisher recovered a jar that contained 2,300 emeralds from the Spanish ship Atocha. The ship sank in the 17th century. 1988 - The U.S. Senate ratified the INF treaty. The INF pact was the first arms-control agreement since the 1972 Strategic Arms Limitation Treaty (SALT I) to receive Senate approval. 1994 - Nobel Prize-winning author Alexander Solzhenitsyn returned to Russia. He had been in exile for two decades. 1995 - In Charlottesville, VA, Christopher Reeve was paralyzed after being thrown from his horse during a jumping event. 1996 - Russian President Boris Yeltsin negotiated a cease-fire to the war in Chechnya in his first meeting with the leader of the rebels. 1997 - The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the sexual harassment suit filed by Paula Jones could continue while President Clinton was in office. 1998 - Charlie Sheen was admitted to a hospital in Los Angeles for a drug overdose. 1998 - Michael Fortier was sentenced to 12 years in prison for not warning anyone about the plot to bomb an Oklahoma City federal building. 1999 - In The Hague, Netherlands, a war crimes tribunal indicted Slobodan Milosevic and four others for atrocities in Kosovo. It was the first time that a sitting head of state had been charged with such a crime. 2010 - Universal Studios reopened its backlot. The area had been destroyed by a fire two years before.
  11. Happy Birthday Guys

    Degringo (42 years old) pob (42 years old) suprafast21 (31 years old) Sleepless (33 years old) TurboGT (35 years old) Paul Kempster (42 years old) yazburner (28 years old) stevecrewe (55 years old) joe1st_06 (29 years old) sheriff (30 years old) lungo (45 years old) Bodgit-fixit-run (59 years old) aygo57 (26 years old) xX Debi Xx (29 years old) superjim42 (30 years old) thehumanferrari (38 years old) Paxos Stu (47 years old) simey27 (49 years old) lwilky (46 years old) Hybrid-Harry (69 years old)
  12. Raistlin's Joke Page

    If space is a vacuum, Shouldn't all Astronauts be women ?...
  13. On This Day

    0017 - Germanicus of Rome celebrated his victory over the Germans. 1328 - William of Ockham was forced to flee from Avignon by Pope John XXII. 1521 - Martin Luther was banned by the Edict of Worms because of his religious beliefs and writings. 1647 - A new law banned Catholic priests from the colony of Massachusetts. The penalty was banishment or death for a second offense. 1660 - King Charles II of England landed at Dover after being exiled for nine years. 1670 - A treaty was signed in secret in Dover, England, between Charles II and Louis XIV ending the hostilities between them. 1691 - Jacob Leiser, leader of the popular uprising in support of William and Mary’s accession to the English throne, was executed for treason. 1736 - The British and Chickasaw Indians defeated the French at the Battle of Ackia. 1791 - The French Assembly forced King Louis XVI to hand over the crown and state assets. 1805 - Napoleon Bonaparte was crowned King of Italy in Milan Cathedral. 1831 - Russians defeated the Poles at battle of Ostrolenska. 1835 - A resolution was passed in the U.S. Congress stating that Congress has no authority over state slavery laws. 1836 - The U.S. House of Representatives adopted what has been called the Gag Rule. 1864 - The Territory of Montana was organized. 1865 - Arrangements were made in New Orleans for the surrender of Confederate forces west of the Mississippi. 1868 - U.S. President Andrew Johnson was acquitted, by one vote, of all charges in his impeachment trial. 1896 - The Dow Jones Industrial Average appeared for the first time in the "Wall Street Journal." 1896 - The last czar of Russia, Nicholas II, was crowned. 1908 - In Persia, the first oil strike was made in the Middle East. 1913 - Actors’ Equity Association was organized in New York City. 1926 - In Morocco, rebel leader Abd el Krim surrendered. 1938 - The House Committee on Un-American Activities began its work of searching for subversives in the United States. 1940 - The evacuation of Allied troops from Dunkirk, France, began during World War II. 1946 - A patent was filed in the United States for an H-bomb. 1946 - British Prime Minister Winston Churchill signed a military pact with Russian leader Joseph Stalin. Stalin promised a "close collaboration after the war." 1948 - The U.S. Congress passed Public Law 557 which permanently established the Civil Air Patrol as the Auxiliary of the new U.S. Air Force. 1956 - The first trailer bank opened for business in Locust Grove, Long Island, NY. The 46-foot-long trailer took in $100,000 in deposits its first day. 1958 - Union Square, San Francisco became a state historical landmark. 1959 - The word "Frisbee" became a registered trademark of Wham-O. 1961 - Civil rights activist group Freedom Ride Coordinating Committee was established in Atlanta, GA. 1961 - A U.S. Air Force bomber flew across the Atlantic in a record time of just over three hours. 1969 - The Apollo 10 astronauts returned to Earth after a successful eight-day dress rehearsal for the first manned moon landing. 1972 - The Strategic Arms Limitation Treaty (SALT I) was signed by the U.S. and USSR. The short-term agreement put a freeze on the testing and deployment of intercontinental and submarine-launched ballistic missiles for a 5-year period. 1973 - Kathy Schmidt set an American women’s javelin record with a throw of 207 feet, 10 inches. 1975 - American stuntman Evel Knievel suffered severe spinal injuries in Britain when he crashed while attempting to jump 13 buses in his car. 1977 - George H. Willig was arrested after he scaled the South Tower of New York's World Trade Center. It took him 3 1/2 hours. 1978 - The first legal casino in the Eastern U.S. opened in Atlantic City, NJ. 1987 - Sri Lanka launched Operation Liberation. It was an offensive against the Tamil rebellion in Jaffra. 1988 - The Edmonton Oilers won their fourth NHL Stanley Cup in five seasons. They swept the series 4 games to 0 against the Boston Bruins. 1994 - U.S. President Clinton renewed trade privileges for China, and announced that his administration would no longer link China's trade status with its human rights record. 1998 - The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that Ellis Island was mainly in New Jersey, not New York. 1998 - The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police officers in high-speed chases are liable for bystander injuries only if their "actions shock the conscience." 1998 - The Grand Princess cruise ship made its inaugural cruise. The ship measured 109,000 tons and cost approximately $450 million, making it the largest and most expensive cruise ship ever built. 1998 - The United States Senate approved legislation that allowed the U.S. Mint flexibility on how the mandatory inscriptions on the Washington quarter could be placed. H.R. 3301 allowed the mandatory inscriptions to be moved to the front of the quarter for the 50 States Circulating Commemorative Coin Program.
  14. Happy Birthday Guys

    paeddy1 (40 years old) corsol (43 years old) Jackie Wong (36 years old) Pan-Man (46 years old) Marko Napoli (40 years old) trev502000 (31 years old) Mike N (77 years old) donna w (36 years old) SteveUK260 (30 years old) 2rueno (27 years old) Rev it hard (29 years old) Pabling (31 years old) DrBob1 Beloqui (32 years old)
  15. Raistlin's Joke Page

    Bulimia: Proving you can have your cake and eat it...