Americans

[Bibbs]

To the citizens of the United States of America, In the light of your failure to elect a worthwhile President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves properly, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over

all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does

not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. ( Look up "vocabulary"). Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication (look up

"interspersed" ) .

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.

Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2008.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "sh*t".

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are rubbish and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Thank you for your cooperation. (look up "Cooperation")

[knowlson]

:D :D :D :D

[Scottish_SR]

:P :P :P :D

[daktari]

Thats telling them.

[Rookey]

Nice one Ben :)

[Yarisboy]

yes, it's a real challenge to make the american public look silly.. this guy nearly seems to have managed it...

[Chappers]

[Coyote!]

Hi back!. Yes I'm the subversive.

Well, I agree 100% but I want to make some points here.

USA citizens call themselves " Americans". Everybody call them "Americans". They are all WRONG. I'm american too, but noone seem to notice that. Paraguay citizens, Cuban citizens, Mexican, Colombian, and Argentinian citizens are ALL AMERICANS, no matter if the USA want to still that from us too. And Also Canadian are North Americans, not just USA!

Secondly, yes there is only one kind of football ( they call it soccer, what's that???? ), what they play is Rugby for ladies

Anyway, I dont have anything against USA, but its time to look "outside your borders" as Bibbs well said, and prevent the inevitable implosion that will result of being so much arrogant and selfish...

Cheers

Coyote from BA

Argentina ( a South American country)

[Karma Supra]

Quality!!!!!!

Did you see th e link to the corvette forum slagging off top gear, JC and the brits????

[knowlson]

That sounds funny you got a link dude :D

Quality!!!!!!

Did you see th e link to the corvette forum slagging off top gear, JC and the brits????

←

[Karma Supra]

http://www.ls1tech.com/forums/showthread.php?t=200329&page=1

link found by courtesy of grumpy :censor: .com

not sure if I have to edit it if its the name of a website

did it for you dude

Edited November 10, 2004 by knowlson

[Chappers]

USA citizens call themselves " Americans". Everybody call them "Americans". They are all WRONG. I'm american too, but noone seem to notice that. Paraguay citizens, Cuban citizens, Mexican, Colombian, and Argentinian citizens are ALL AMERICANS, no matter if the USA want to still that  from us too. And Also Canadian are North Americans, not just USA!

←

U dont call yourself an Argentine or Argentinian then? Surely you would refer to the country you live in...

My Canadian cousins are Canadian (they tell me not American) and never refer to themselves as American

[knowlson]

Karma thats classic mate :D

Good reading and just shows how stupid and up there own ***** they are :D

[EarL]

Classic. Absolutely priceless mate. :D

[Yarisboy]

lol, how ignorant can one be?

They're worse than CTS owners!

Talking about 'britts' not making any good cars..

Aston Martin, Jaguar, Lotus, Bently, Rolls Royce... anyone?

idiots

[EarL]

lol, how ignorant can one be?

They're worse than CTS owners!

Talking about 'britts' not making any good cars..

Aston Martin, Jaguar, Lotus,  Bently, Rolls Royce... anyone?

idiots

←

Err... you'll find that of the marques you've mentioned, only Lotus and Bentley are still British. The rest are owned by the damn Americans.

[PaulT]

Err...  you'll find that of the marques you've mentioned, only Lotus and Bentley are still British.  The rest are owned by the damn Americans. 

←

You're sure that Bentley aren't owned by Volkswagen then? :D :D

The Continental shares a few trivial parts, like the engine, with the Phaeton.

Cheers

Paul.

[Karma Supra]

I thought lotus had been bought out??? TVR has.

We still have Noble

[Coyote!]

USA citizens call themselves " Americans". Everybody call them "Americans". They are all WRONG. I'm american too, but noone seem to notice that. Paraguay citizens, Cuban citizens, Mexican, Colombian, and Argentinian citizens are ALL AMERICANS, no matter if the USA want to still that  from us too. And Also Canadian are North Americans, not just USA!

←

U dont call yourself an Argentine or Argentinian then? Surely you would refer to the country you live in...

My Canadian cousins are Canadian (they tell me not American) and never refer to themselves as American

←

Thats my point. We dont call our selves Americans, as the Canadians do, because we all share America, and it belongs to noone to use it as a way of identifying themselves.

Anyway, the thing is that they should call themselves USA citizens or USAns or whatever...

Cheers

Coyote from BA

Argentina

[Karma Supra]

I just found a great link!!!!!!

On that very same Corvette Forum....

a vid of repeated race... their precious corvette/ with a supercharger added, racing a mk3 supra......

Guess who wins :D

http://necrocannibal.mine.nu/Races%20and%2...MK3%20Supra.wmv

;)

OOOOooooooooo thats made me smile