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Gay Dead Joke. Not Work Safe?


mad welshman
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!Removed! funerals

Three !Removed! men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, "My Benny loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky." The second man said, "My Carl was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake." The third man said, "My Jim was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ***** up just one more time

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three dead chaps wandering up to the pearly gates

st. pete says, 'right chaps, to determine what car you drive in heaven im going to ask you a fidelity question'

he says to the first man 'ok have you ever cheated on your wife'

the man replies 'no but i did once look at a young woman in a short skirt'

pete 'only a minor, ok heres the keys to a spanking new fully loaded Rolls Royce' and off he drives into heaven

to the second guy 'ok how many times have you cheated?'

'ill admit ive had a two or three one nighters when ive been stone drunk'

st peter says 'hmm ok, on the average i suppose? heres the keys to a high millage second hand merc' and off he drives into heaven

the third guy looks up to st peter

'and you my friend have you ever cast your infidelity?'

'im afraid i have' he says 'i spent every weekend in the red light district, took all my annual holidays in amsterdam, and have had a mistress all my married life'

old pete a bit shocked 'well that is a bit bad! hmmmm.... im afraid i can only offer you this clapped out skoda, its riddled with rust and ill doubt itll get you to the lake of paradise, but its all i can offer' so the chap coughs and splutters away

a few years later the guy in the skoda is clunking along when he sees a shiney Rolla at the side of the road and a man crying at the pavement and realises its the same bloke from when he died.

he pulls over to see if hes ok, he says 'ive just heard my wife has died and come to heaven so i came to the gate to meet her'

he replies, 'well i suppose on earth thats a bad thing but surely you should be happy'

'well, i was just pulling round the corner and i saw her trundle down the road on a skateboard'

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