Cats And Dogs

[Hou]

What is a cat?

Cats do what they want.

They rarely listen to you.

They're totally unpredictable.

They whine when they are not happy.

When you want to play, they want to be alone.

When you want to be alone, they want to play.

They expect you to cater to their every whim.

They're moody.

They leave hair everywhere.

They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.

Conclusion: They're tiny little women in cheap fur coats.

What is a dog ?

Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.

They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but they don't hear you when you are in the same room.

They growl when they are not happy.

When you want to play, they want to play.

When you want to be alone, they want to play.

They are great at begging.

They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.

They leave their toys everywhere.

They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.

Conclusion: They are little men in fur coats

HOW MANY DOGS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

Golden Retriever:

The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie:

Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund:

You know I can't reach that damned stupid lamp!

Rottweiler:

Make me.

Lab:

Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?

Malamute:

Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

jack Russell Terrier:

I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Poodle:

I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Cocker Spaniel:

Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Doberman Pinscher:

While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

Boxer:

Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark......

Mastiff:

Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

Chihuahua:

Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Irish Wolfhound:

Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover.....

Pointer:

I see it, there it is, there it is, right there....

Greyhound:

It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd:

First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle....

Old English Sheep Dog:

Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?

Hound Dog:

ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz

German Shepherd:

I'm not trained to change bulbs, just to guard the house. So don't try anything!

Cat:

Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So the question is pointless

[PaulT]

Paul.