Smart Answers

[Ekstrom]

These will make you smile.

THE 6 BEST SMART ubikD ANSWERS OF 2007

SMART ubikD ANSWER 6

It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.

'What are my choices?' the man asked.

'Yes or no,' she replied.

SMART ubikD ANSWER 5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without blinking an eyelid she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.'

SMART ubikD ANSWER 4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a passing assistant, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'

The assistant replied, 'I'm afraid not, they're dead.'

SMART ubikD ANSWER 3

The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.

'I've been waiting for you all day,' the bobby said.

The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.'

When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ubikD ANSWER 2

A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read 'Low Bridge Ahead.' Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.

The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab and said to the driver 'Got stuck, eh?' The lorry driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!'

SMART ubikD ANSWER OF THE YEAR

A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam.

Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'

A smart-ubikd guy at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'

The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I suppose you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'

[Devil-ish]

Thanks for that!!! I needed a snigger to brighten up my dull day :D

[Calisto]

made me laugh!

[Jinxed]

also

[crizzle]

What is an ubikD?

[cfc1]

SMART ubikD ANSWER 2

A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read 'Low Bridge Ahead.' Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.

The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab and said to the driver 'Got stuck, eh?' The lorry driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!'

That one reminded me of the guy who pulled into a service station with a flat tyre

"Tyre go flat?" asked the attendant

"no" replied the guy.. " I was driving along and the other 3 suddenly inflated themselves!"

What is an ubikD?

It was a Cube made by some proffessor ;)

[crizzle]

Really?

[cfc1]

Try typing a crude word for bum.. beginning with A ;)... The swear filter changes it.

[crizzle]

!Removed!?

[Jinxed]

!Removed!?

pmsl god bless you crizzle :D

[Jinxed]

yay double post :P

[vmail]

lol

[Boro Sera]

The story of how Spike Milligan and Harry Secombe met is a good 'Smart Answer' one.

It was in the forces in the desert ( this is purely from memory, so the details may not be quite exact ) and Spike Milligan was in charge of a cannon. On firing, the cannon shot backwards with a vicious recoil and flew over a sand dune. Spike went to look for it and bumped into Harry . He asked ' Have you seen a cannon go past this way?'

Harry Replied....' What colour was it '

Genius!