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To: God: From: The Dog


cfc1
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We have a lot of cat topics on here.. now it's time to redress the balance, so here is a little dog topic.. OK it's a wee joke, but dog related.

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: If a! dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there postmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologise?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1 . I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The bin man is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my !Removed! back?

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Love the last 1 :lol:

How an animal can any loyalty whatsoever to someone who choses to have that done to them is beyond me

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"11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch."

Why not? If us men could lick our own crotches I don't think we'd care about anything, let alone where we were when we did it! :D

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"11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch."

Why not? If us men could lick our own crotches I don't think we'd care about anything, let alone where we were when we did it! :D

eeew :lol: proof men are dogs ..lol

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Quality :D

Although our dogs are scared of our cats!

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