Life In The Middle Ages

[Raistlin]

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and

still smelled pretty good by June.

However, they were starting to smell so brides carried a bouquet of flowers

to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when

getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of

the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons

and men, then the women and finally the children-last of all the babies.

By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.

Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath.

It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and

other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became

slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence

the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house.

This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings

could really mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a

sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds

came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.

Hence the saying "dirt poor."

The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the

winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep

their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until

when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of

wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a "thresh hold."

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle

that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added

things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat.

They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold

overnight and then start over the next day.

Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.

Hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in

the pot nine days old."

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special.

When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off.

It was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon."

They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit

around and "chew the fat."

Those with money had plates made of pewter.

Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food,

causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes,

so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status.

Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and

guests got the top, or "upper crust."

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you

pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on.

That's where the phrase, "goodnight, sleep tight" came from.

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the

wedding, the brides father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could

drink. Mead is a honey beer, and because their calendar was lunar based, this period

was called the "honey month" or what we know today as the "honeymoon".

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when

customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them to mind their own pints and

quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's."

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or

handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill,they used the whistle to get

some service. "Wet your whistle," is the phrase inspired by this practice.

In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you had consent of the King

(unless you were in the Royal Family). When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got

the consent of the King and the King gave them placard that they hung on their door

while they were having sex. The placard had F. U. C. K. on it (Fornication Under

Consent of the King.)

[Boro Sera]

The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the

winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep

their footing.

So glad you didn't go down the 'Bon Jovi' route with this one - we'd have the rest of the thread filled with girls who know nothing about music and have no taste !

[Calisto]

The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the

winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep

their footing.

So glad you didn't go down the 'Bon Jovi' route with this one - we'd have the rest of the thread filled with girls who know nothing about music and have no taste !

B) :D

[Bizarra]

Very good

I could accept all of it, bar the last paragraph

I can just imagine a couple getting horny during a dark wet winter's night & saying "Oh no, we can't. We have to get our application in to the King & he is away on a crusade. Besides, we are illiterate :lol2:

[Hoovie]

Very good

I could accept all of it, bar the last paragraph

I can just imagine a couple getting horny during a dark wet winter's night & saying "Oh no, we can't. We have to get our application in to the King & he is away on a crusade. Besides, we are illiterate :lol2:

I wouldn't dismiss that part too much the King will have allowed all the local big cheeses to act in his proxy I bet. Just look at what happened in Irish history when the English 'Gentry' subjugated the population.

Is this the right place to say "ban the Monarchy!!!!!" ?

[Bizarra]

Very good

I could accept all of it, bar the last paragraph

I can just imagine a couple getting horny during a dark wet winter's night & saying "Oh no, we can't. We have to get our application in to the King & he is away on a crusade. Besides, we are illiterate :lol2:

I wouldn't dismiss that part too much the King will have allowed all the local big cheeses to act in his proxy I bet. Just look at what happened in Irish history when the English 'Gentry' subjugated the population.

Is this the right place to say "ban the Monarchy!!!!!" ?

Doubt it I launched a rant on us all being Europeans & that it was a pain in the axxe having to get Sterling when going to the UK or to the North, when I can go almost anywhere in Europe with the money in my pocket, suggesting that we should all be using Euros. Some few agreed & there were several Jingoistic comments

[Hoovie]

ah .... the "Queens Head" nonsense