Having Babies

[Demonic Angel]

I've always been very maternal - ever since I was a kid I knew I wanted a family of my own one day - and I'm starting to get very broody and its making me think - when is the "right time" to start a family?

My Mum was 24 when I was born - I'm 24 in August and when I was about 18 I told myself I would have a child when I was 24 - I'm now almost 24 and telling myself it'll be 27!

My best mate had her first at 17 and her second at 18 - shes now 22 and her kids are great! I love spending time with them and they love Auntie Em - she has said shes not having anymore now, but it also go me thinking that when me and her are in our thirties - when she is 35, her daughter will be 18 and her son will be 17 - practically grown ups!

Rich and I have spoken about children and we decided that we would wait a while until we are both more financially stable - we've only had the house for 9 months and are still in that difficult homeowner period - plus I have my Jess (and Alfie when he arrives!) and dont get me wrong, I love my cats to death, but a child would be so much more.

Is there a right time to have children - or do you just know? I feel the biological clock ticking and I'm not even 24!

[kimi]

Theres never gonna be a right time for me, sorry Em i dont want kids

ever ever EVER.

think you may have got the idea by now.

maybe you'll just know when its time

[Bibbs]

I was told by the other half

"why have kids, I'd rather spend the money on cars and myself" ..

That's *my* kinda girl ..

[SMW]

Becoming a Dad was without doubt the highlight of my life.

All I would say is that having kids puts a huge strain on everything - your relationship, sanity, finances etc.

I would always advocate getting the foundations right - i.e. have your own home, a few quid in the bank etc. and then have kids - not that you won't enjoy it if you don't do this but if you have got all the other stuff straight then you can take the time to actually enjoy the kids without worrying about how you are going to keep things together.

BTW I was 30 and Mrs SMW was just 24 when our daughter was born.

[MissMR2]

I agree with both the above replies in different ways.

I guess you just know when 'your' ready. no one else can tell you when.

your deffo right though to wait till your more financialy stable. :)

I also agree with Bibbs gf.lol selfish, maybe so, but i love spending money on myself, and Hugo - and i wouldnt be able to if i had a child... and that scares me a bit.lol

[Puls]

'Never'

Every time I've ever mentioned that I don't like or want kids in front of people, there's always one chick who is appalled by it. "You don't want children!? Why?!? :o "

[stevetubbyturbo]

We have our kids

Ben and Jerry and they always fight and are very naughty boys

[stevetubbyturbo]

But seriously we dont really want kids as we have enough nephews, and friends with kids, to keep us occupied and we do baby sit alot for people and we really enjoy it but its nice to give them back.

[GIDDLEPIN]

To help you decide

[cfc1]

You and your partner will know when the time is right.. if you both want kids, go for it.. best things that ever happened to me.

As for age.. i was 22 when we had our 1st.. the wife 20, our oldest (of 3, all boys) is now 14. So another way to look at the age thing is.. how old do you want to be when your oldest kid can look after the younger ones, to let you still enjoy a good night out.. do you still want to go to a club.. or does grab a granny night at the dockers club sound more appealing?

Kids are brilliant, kids are a pain in the wotsit at times too... but at the end of the day, there are more good times than bad. (They grow up really quick too... so enjoy them when they are babies).

Talk about it with your partner.. if you really are broody.. ask him how he feels.. it MUST be a joint decision. But at the end of the day.. only you and your partner can decide when the time is right.

Mr.DA.. labour doesn't hurt a bit.. you'll be ok m8 and grab the gas and air before Em gets it.

** goes looking for the hidden camera**

[Chappers]

Im 22, I can only just manage to support myself...

So in short - yes I believe there is a 'right time' and at the moment, it isn't now..

[reece]

Theres never gonna be a right time for me, sorry Em i dont want kids

ever ever EVER.

think you may have got the idea by now.

You're my sort of woman Kimi

I’m trying to find a woman under 30 who has had a hysterectomy! Problem solved!

[Boro Sera]

The best advice in the world is written on the side of plastic bags...

KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN !

It's profound beyond belief. horrible things :censor:

[kimi]

The best advice in the world is written on the side of plastic bags...

KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN !

It's profound beyond belief. horrible things :censor:

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couldnt have said it better myself Rich

[Calisto]

I already have a son and am happy with my life as it is......Job, college, boyfriend. social life, and of course my beloved KITT . I am a very maternal person and some days I get very broody ;) But I am not putting a baby seat in the Celica :P so nope no more kids for me.

And I think if you really want a child then any time is the right time.

[Blue84]

I think that everyone has different circumstances and wishes when it comes to children, some people want them when they are younger and some want them when they are older. You and Rich have got a house, stable jobs, cars and you've said yourself that you are savvy with your money...so with a bit more savings behind you you will have some "fallback" for all the expense that it will cost.

At the moment my children are Cars and my Cat :D and they are enough for me!

[Karma Supra]

I don't like kids, and I don't want any of my own...

[Avensis wagon]

Ooh! I can do this one (a bit).

First: 100%, no doubt about it, whatever you do in life, your kids will be your greatest achievement. The cats thing you mentioned is an understatement. Only when you have kids will you appreciate that fully and beyond the abstract level, i.e. really know what it means.

For most, if you wait until you can afford kids you'll never have them. But it is smart to have a little reserve.

The age thing: having them young means you'll make more mistakes and behave less reasonably than if you were a little older (hopefully we all get smarter as we get older). But having them older increases many risks -- e.g. Down's Syndrome is something like 1 in many thousand at age 20 and 1 in 400 age 35. Not only that, at your current age you're much more able to handle the sleep deprivation and other demands placed on you.

Your relationship: your partner will no longer be the most important thing in your life. s*x could go comparatively out of the window die to tiredness, lack of opportunity and possible physical factors. So far you've only been responsible for yourselves, so it's a big and maturing change. In that respect, you grow with your child. Now you'll be responsible for a helpless little person who demands your attention every second -- you'll be lucky if you get to go to the toilet alone.

The good news is that when it seems pretty desperate when you're caught in the moment, it does get better and there is light at the end of the tunnel. So it's tricky, but if you survive it you'll really grow and have a greater understanding of life the universe and everything.

When is the right time? Between now and the age of 32 for your first. And yes, leave it later and you'll be pensioned before they leave home and you get your life back.

Finally, it's a difficult desicion to make, isn't it? You know: "I will now decide to have children, take a step into the unknown and irreversably change my life forever". Here's a tip that takes the difficult decision-making out of it. Come off the pill/implant (I'm assuming here). This is a good start anyway because it's recommended that you don't get pregant on the pill and also that you get your natural cycle going for six months. During this time, use condoms. That's the trick, because sooner or later you're going to slip up or not hold back = one pregnancy with no difficult decsion-making.

In my experience, most women get the bio-clock thing really strongly at 28 -- and if they're not with someone they may even marry some bloke who is far from their first choice and possibly divorce as soon as the relationship is put under the strain of kids. So if you feel you've made a sound choice of partner while time allows, as opposed to a last-minute act of desperation, GO FOR IT! You'll live.

I've always been very maternal - ever since I was a kid I knew I wanted a family of my own one day - and I'm starting to get very broody and its making me think - when is the "right time" to start a family?

My Mum was 24 when I was born - I'm 24 in August and when I was about 18 I told myself I would have a child when I was 24 - I'm now almost 24 and telling myself it'll be 27!

My best mate had her first at 17 and her second at 18 - shes now 22 and her kids are great! I love spending time with them and they love Auntie Em - she has said shes not having anymore now, but it also go me thinking that when me and her are in our thirties - when she is 35, her daughter will be 18 and her son will be 17 - practically grown ups!

Rich and I have spoken about children and we decided that we would wait a while until we are both more financially stable - we've only had the house for 9 months and are still in that difficult homeowner period - plus I have my Jess (and Alfie when he arrives!) and dont get me wrong, I love my cats to death, but a child would be so much more.

Is there a right time to have children - or do you just know? I feel the biological clock ticking and I'm not even 24!

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[starletsr]

Geez whats wiv all these women having babies

Iam 23 this year and no way iam thinking of any children, i hate them!! lol. I rather have fun than to look after children from now, i've seen mums at my work place and damn they all look terrible and their dress sense is terrible! So i believe once you have kids, u just don't care about what u look like anymore (learning from my aunt that has a 1year and a half child) :P

Then again, iam a single girl but it's more fun being single and free :P

[Boro Sera]

i've seen mums at my work place and damn they all look terrible and their dress sense is terrible!    So i believe once you have kids, u just don't care about what u look like anymore (learning from my aunt that has a 1year and a half child)  :P

HAHAHA best laugh of the day there ! nice one :D

Then again, iam a single girl    but it's more fun being single and free  :P

You tell them, Girl !

[Leeky]

Have kids? But i 'am' a kid :D

(your only as old as you feel )

Give it a while Em, like you said you got the house to take care of first. My folks were married when my dad was 21 and had me when he was 23.

Im 23 this summer and im not interested in kids this side of 30 ;)

Diffrent generation

[cfc1]

Ok.. for those of you who don't have kids.. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS!.

When my 1st was born (and the subsequent 2) i couldn't beleive the feelings that went through me.. the only way i can think of describing it is PURE love.. it just hit me smack in the face as soon as he popped out (yes i was there.. at all 3 births) no kids? well, you won't understand love till you have one.

DA.. if you have a natural maternal instinct, go for it.. as for money, you will make the most of what you have, it won't be a problem, that instinct takes over.

[Boro Sera]

Yeah DA,

we'll have a TOC rummage sale to help you out.

You'll be knee deep in green shield stamps before you know it !

[Caz SR]

I'm still not sure how I feel about having kids of my own... everytime I hear a kid scream or randomly misbehave in a public place, it goes right though me and i just don't think I've got the patience yet to even entertain the idea. I still don't feel that I've lived enough and I'm not in the kind of situation to support a mini me.

A very close friend had her first at 23. It was a shock when she told me she was pregnant. The dad didn't want to know and told her to have an abortion. Instead, my friend told him where to go and made it clear that if he was walking away now, he will never have anything to do with their daughter.

She has found it tough. I know it's a very different situation to your own, as you have a longterm partner who will support you, but the age is the same and although she loves her daughter to pieces and wouldn't change things, I can see the disappointment in her face / hear it in her voice very occasionally when she can't just drop everything and go out and have that carefree attitude of someone else her age. She has had to grow up fast.

I guess the questions are; do you feel you've done everything you want to do and experience at your age or do you see yourself being happy putting it off and experiencing things much later in life when your child has grown up? Do you have absolute faith in what your partner says about the subject and would he be happy as a Dad?

I guess you'll both just know when the time is right, but make sure you've both got the most out of the 'right here, right now' before you make such a commitment. x

[starletsr]

Screaming kids does my head in, did anyone watch Supernanny?? I could strangle them darn naughty kids! lol