Having Babies

[Al J]

OK, my two pence worth (Al slips into serious mode)...

First of all, I have no kids of my own. Just unlucky in relationships and flitting from one to another so kids never happened for me and getting a bit late now at my age. Feel sorry I couldn't have given my Mum and Dad a grandchild (my Dad died in October last year) but there you go.

On the other hand, I have about 1000 children, 150 I know really well, What!

Yeah, the kids in my school. Some are right little :censor:s, but there are so many who make me feel a lot younger than my 50 years!

My parents were told they couldn't have children, then a couple of years later, they had me! :o They have been wonderful throughout my life and so supportive even when I got things wrong. They were poor too but I hardly felt it other than to know not to demand new stuff all the time.

cfc1 has basically summed up everything else I think I wanted to say with some very sensible comments, in my opinion.

A child is not an accessory once you have got enough money and everything else in place. There is never a right (or wrong) time. There is simply the time. ;)

You and Rich will know when. It's as simple as that.

One more thing. From the discussions we've had here and via pm...

You'll make a great mum when the time comes.

[Puls]

When I was in high school I worked in a store and carried a scanning gun with all times. I saw kids that were so bad I wanted to bludgeon them with the gun, and then do likewise to the parents.

Some people just shouldn't reproduce. I've never liked children. I didn't like kids when I *was* a kid. And whenever they're around now, I usually just try to get away from them. Now the trick is to find a lady who feels the same way. It doesn't help that every girl I meet at my college is mesmerized by them and plans to have a few themselves. Bah. I'm self-centered and lazy, dammit!! I want to spend my money on ME! My mom gets another gray hair every time I mention that I don't want/like kids.

[Robie]

Its pretty much the meaning of life to reproduce Oh and its good to continue on your family name ;)

I personally can't wait :)

[Demonic Angel]

One more thing. From the discussions we've had here and via pm...

You'll make a great mum when the time comes. 

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Thanks hun - that means a lot. :)

[knowlson]

Not a big fan of screaming children, trying to get them to go to sleep at night. It's a lot of things I dont want to think about I am only 24.

A couple of my mates have had children and I see the strain it puts on them.... Sod that They do look happy dont get me wrong I get that having a kid is a great experiance.

I am now single that last thing on my mind is having children I could see my life going in that direction and no sir I did not like it ;)

In the future I would like to have children I think it will be fun but not just yet 30+ me thinks :D

[GIDDLEPIN]

Ok.. for those of you who don't have kids.. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS!.

well, you won't understand love till you have one.

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Hmm, that's quite a broad statement.

I'm 54 years old and never had children, so that means I don't know what love is.

I suppose that's why I'm a grumpy lonely old man with no sense of humour.

It has always been my choice never to have children and there are people out there who can't have children, does this mean they will never know love.

I have two wonderful nieces, one has three children and the other who has a one year old and I think the world of all of them.

I'm sure you weren't aiming that comment at me, because I'm not a bad person really ;)

PS (Anne might agree with the grumpy bit )

[Fidgits]

I was told by the other half

"why have kids, I'd rather spend the money on cars and myself" ..

That's *my* kinda girl ..

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sounds very much like what my missues said a loooooooooong time ago..

To be honest though DA - there will never be a 'right time' - because if you weight up your circumstances, and the changes you would have to make for a child, you will never have one, because it will turn your life upside down and leave in unrecognisable...

So if you really want kids, your going to have just wait until your ready for your life to never be the same again..

[~Rach~]

Well Lu was born when I was 18, and Nick was 21. Wouldnt change it for the world :D

My opinion on it all is, as soon as you are mature enough to be able to think/care for anyone but yourself (ie not selfish/self obsessed), then you are ready to have kids.

I've had to sacrifice lots of things for Lucy, but I love her more than anyone/anything in the world so shes worth everything I have to give up, miss out on etc :group-cuddles:

[cfc1]

Ok.. for those of you who don't have kids.. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS!.

well, you won't understand love till you have one.

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Hmm, that's quite a broad statement.

I'm 54 years old and never had children, so that means I don't know what love is.

I suppose that's why I'm a grumpy lonely old man with no sense of humour.

It has always been my choice never to have children and there are people out there who can't have children, does this mean they will never know love.

I have two wonderful nieces, one has three children and the other who has a one year old and I think the world of all of them.

I'm sure you weren't aiming that comment at me, because I'm not a bad person really ;)

PS (Anne might agree with the grumpy bit )

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I didn't mean it like that, so i appologise for the way i worded it.. there are lots of different types of love.. and the best love I personaly have ever felt, was the love i felt when my kids were born, it really is so strong you wouldn't understand if you havn't had kids of your own.

People make different choices in life, for those that choose not to have kids, then i suppose the love the have for their families (nieces/nephews) will be very strong too. I didn't mean to offend anyone, sorry if i did, but untill an individual has their own children, they won't know the love tht people have for their kids, it's very special.

!Removed! hell, i wish i was good at English, a cannae find the wurds tae explain it right.

[Robie]

I was told by the other half

"why have kids, I'd rather spend the money on cars and myself" ..

That's *my* kinda girl ..

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To be honest though DA - there will never be a 'right time' - because if you weight up your circumstances, and the changes you would have to make for a child, you will never have one, because it will turn your life upside down and leave in unrecognisable...

So if you really want kids, your going to have just wait until your ready for your life to never be the same again..

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Man thats depressing.... Just note that the people who say don't have kids are the ones that have chosen not to.

Also note those with kids are soooo proud and think its the best thing in their lives.

[Fidgits]

woooooooaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

I wasnt saying dont have kids - just that if DA is waiting for the 'right time', then she'll be waiting for a very long time - so if she wants kids, she should just go for it....

[Karma Supra]

Apart from disliking children in general:

They cost LOTS. I struggle making end meet at the end of the month anyway these days, and I still live at "home" (i.e. parents house). No way could I afford children even if I did want them, let alone a proper education for them!

They take over. Call em selfish, but for me there does not seen to be enough hours in the day to get everything I need to get done, done I have a job (only part time now not by choice!) and a small business plan on the side, not to mention a very time consuming hobby.. This leave very little time for My g/f, and of course, GT-4

Added Worries We all have plenty of worries, (see, money, living arrangements, job, and trying to run 2 80s sports cars) The last thing I want is to worry about something else, is their education good enough (if its state school, I doubt it) are they happy, are they healthy, are they steering clear of drugs/the "wrong" crowd?

Mad World. I think this world is pretty damn :censor: .. I am here so I'll try and make the best of it... but I'd not want to be responsable for bringing another life into it, from my experiance so far, taking all the good with the bad, equal it out.. its in their best interest not to have them.

Nope I can quite safely say NO.

My other half wants kids, but I have made my views clear since day one, and she accepts that as part of me.

[Caz SR]

My other half wants kids, but I have made my views clear since day one, and she accepts that as part of me.

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That's great, but don't forget that she could be making a big sacrifice for you in the future.

[stevetubbyturbo]

I think you hit the nail on the head with your quote of it being a Mad world and thats one of the main reasons why me and Rachel are not having kids of our own as the world has changed so much iin the last few years.

I can remember when i was a kid in the late 70's early 80's when i could go out and have no fear of muggers, rappists and pedofiles but now days you cant trust anyone society has just seemed to have gone down the pan and TBH i dont think that this is a world i would want to bring children into but this is only my opinion.

But we are going to be looking into addoption in the near future as there are so many children who have been born into this world who do not have a decent style of life and if me and Rachel can make a childs life better and give them a loving and stable life we will, we just have some living to do first

[Karma Supra]

We all have to make sacrifices. If anyone can ever find another half where they don't have to make any sacfrifice at all, they are one of the luckyest people in the world.

Who knows what the future holds anyway.

[Caz SR]

We all have to make sacrifices. If anyone can ever find another half where they don't have to make any sacfrifice at all, they are one of the luckyest people in the world.

Who knows what the future holds anyway.

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That's very true - no one knows what the future holds and even the most seemingly stable of relationships can be turned upside down by something neither partner saw coming.

Yes everyone makes sacrifices for their partners, all I'm saying is that not having children when you know you want them is a very big sacrifice to make (from a female point of view). I know you're both young and realistically, this probably hasn't been the most important aspect of your relationship as of yet (who wants it to be when you're still enjoying your freedom years).

I don't want this to sound like a lecture as I know you both as friends, but I'm just saying that there could be a lot more depth to it than her just accepting you don't want kids as the years go by. Just something from a female point of view mate.

[Karma Supra]

I know what you are saying, and I fully appretiate your input. :)

AS I said I don't think it'll be a problem, -you hit the nail on the head in the first line.

Thanks.

[midmotorsteve]

simple answer is when YOU can afford them. Too many people these days have kids before they can look after themselves.

When you can buy your own house and keep yourself in credit then do it.

Nothing worse than the people that have kids and then expect everyone elses Taxes to pay for them.

I'm 27, girlfriend 25, we aim to be buying a house next year, then sort our selves out and kids when shes approx 29 as then we know we'll be able to look after them properly. Hell we still struggle now, but we have been working damn hard and will both have professional qualifications and jobs within the next 6 months. The other half already has she's waiting for me to catch up.

[~Rach~]

simple answer is when YOU can afford them.  Too many people these days have kids before they can look after themselves.

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When I got pregnant, we were living in a shared house, and just scrapping by moneywise. It was the worst time to have a kid, but as far as we were concerned, we got ourselves into the situation so had to deal with it.

Now, Im 20, with a house and mortgage, 2 cars, and (except the mortgage) we have no debts and are easily managing everything we want, and well as what Lu needs.

Things change, either for better or worse, you never know what tomorrow holds..........

[midmotorsteve]

simple answer is when YOU can afford them.  Too many people these days have kids before they can look after themselves.

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When I got pregnant, we were living in a shared house, and just scrapping by moneywise. It was the worst time to have a kid, but as far as we were concerned, we got ourselves into the situation so had to deal with it.

Now, Im 20, with a house and mortgage, 2 cars, and (except the mortgage) we have no debts and are easily managing everything we want, and well as what Lu needs.

Things change, either for better or worse, you never know what tomorrow holds..........

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well done in managing to sort your situation out. As you said "It was the worst time to have a kid" i doubt you'd advise anyone who is in a similar situation to have a kid before they have got themselves ready to do so, i.e. bought a house et al. must have been really hard.

A Lot of other people would have gone on the council house list and have the rest of us pay their bills for the rest of their and the new familys lives.

[Bibbs]

I don't want kids .. for the simple reason, I know what I was like as one. I was a little ****.

I'd rather have the holidays, cars and the dollah .. but that's just me.

[earpl]

em dont you think we should have discussed this first before putting it on the forums?????

how to ruin a great body............. have kids....

[GIDDLEPIN]

em dont you think we should have discussed this first before putting it on the forums?????

how to ruin a great body............. have kids....

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Unless they're delivered like this

[JustJJ]

I was told by the other half

"why have kids, I'd rather spend the money on cars and myself" ..

That's *my* kinda girl ..

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Seconded atm.... mebbe one day... but deffo not right now

[jaxx]

I don't want kids .. for the simple reason, I know what I was like as one. I was a little ****.

I'd rather have the holidays, cars and the dollah .. but that's just me.

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me too

never ever want kids and ill never change, im too selfish and the way i want to live life wont coincide with bringing a kid up