Cat Pill

[GIDDLEPIN]

Might as well put it on here

HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL:

1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if

holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of

cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in

right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close

mouth and swallow.

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in

left arm and repeat process.

3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear

paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of

mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call

spouse from garden.

6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and

rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head

firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill

down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.

Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep

shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for

gluing later.

8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just

visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force

mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of

water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse’s forearm and

remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10) Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in

cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth

open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on

hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of

last tetanus jab. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road.

Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid

cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

13) Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind

tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from

shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak.

Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash

pill down.

14) Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while

doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from

right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if

they have any hamsters.

HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL:

1) Wrap it in bacon.

[scionic]

Summary:

Once again dogs > cats, but all heterosexual men already know this.

[Demonic Angel]

I love my cats, but I hate giving them oral medicine!

[Boro Sera]

If they made cat pills in Honey Roast Ham flavour, there wouldn't be a problem !

[System~G]

Excellent find

Best way I have found for cats is to crush the pill into a powder and mix it in with their evening meal (tin of whiskers) - they're none the wiser then ;)

[Blue84]

 

Excellent find

Best way I have found for cats is to crush the pill into a powder and mix it in with their evening meal (tin of whiskers) - they're none the wiser then ;)

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My cat is too wise to it being in whiskers - so when she had to have one tablet in the morning, and then two different ones together in the evening for two weeks I used a little bit of tuna with the tablets crushed in them - it was the ony way she'd definately eat them! Otherwise would prolly have had an experience like the one above :D

[Big Neil]

Very good, :D

Have memorable experiences of the first five or six of those and the scars to prove it :D

Nowadays she will take it out of my hand so long as it is wrapped in cheese.

She's 19 now and still going strong.

[dave5282]

There is an easier way.

Go to local pet store and buy a hamster

Feed the cat pill to the hamster

Feed the hamster...well you know what comes next

:P :P :P

[GIDDLEPIN]

There is an easier way.

Go to local pet store and buy a hamster

Feed the cat pill to the hamster

Feed the hamster...well you know what comes next

:P  :P  :P

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You found the secret, only it's dog pill-hamster-cat------------- :P