Lexus Funny

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LEXUS PREVIEWS PIKEY POWER

In an attempt to capitalise on Gordon Brown's recent move to promote bio-fuel technologies, Lexus has revealed that its new HPX concept may be developed to run on a previously untapped fuel resource - poor people.

Available as a dual fuel option at first, the production version of the HPX will accept standard petroleum, or up to 50kg of poverty. Details as to the material form of 'poor' are still being kept secret, but it is thought that low income families will be ground down into a fine paste that, once treated,will power the 4.3-litre 32-valve 300bhp V8 engine. Lexus expects the new fuel will become available from all major petroleum retailers in upper income areas.

When drivers find themselves in districts with unnaturally high proportions of satellite TV viewing and Viscount biscuit consumption standard 95RON fuel will suffice, although Lexus technical director Yashimito Cheesdorito hinted that 'in an emergency you could probably just grab a teenager in a Kappa top and squash him into the filler neck.'

Lexus insiders are said to be particularly delighted that their planned dual fuel innovation will reach the market before BMW's rival system, Immigrantronic, which runs almost exclusively on asylum seekers.

'This really is a radical system from Lexus,' noted industry expert Ranpit Tratt. 'With this rate of progress who knows, maybe one day they might even launch a diesel engine.'

[zee007]