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Friday Funny


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A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and

places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up

and asks what's in the bag.

The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about

one foot high and sets him on the counter. He reaches back

into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter

as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano.

The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a

beautiful piece by Mozart! "Where on earth did you get that?" says the bartender.

The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: "Here. Rub it."

So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him. "I will grant you one wish. Just one wish~~ each person is only allowed one!"

The e bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, "I want a million bucks!" A few moments later, a duck walks into

the bar. It is soon followed by another duck, then another.

pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks

and they keep coming!

The bartender turns to the man and says, "Y'know, I think

your genie's a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks,

not a million ducks."

"Tell me about it!!" says the man,

"do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?

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  • 3 weeks later...

Here's another.....

Two men waiting at the pearly gates strike up a conversation. ''How'd you die?'' the first man asks the second. ''I froze to death,'' says the second. ''That's awful, how does it feel to freeze to death?'' says the first. ''It's very uncomfortable at first, you get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How did you die?'' says the second. ''I had a heart attack'', says the first guy. ''You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement, bot no one was hiding there. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died.'' The second man shakes his head. ''that's so ironic'' he says. ''What do you mean?'' asks the first man ''If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive.''

Ok, you can shoot me now :lol:

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Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.

After several drinks, one of the men had to use the restroom.

Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a

successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and

Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and


he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best

friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Damn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and


He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become

a pilot . Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the

majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand

new jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best

universities and became an engineer.

Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire.

He also gave

away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday:

A 30000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned

from the restroom and asked:

"What are all the congratulations for?"

One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the

successes of our sons. ...What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is !Removed! and makes a living dancing as a

stripper at a nightclub. The three friends said: "What a

shame...what a disappointment."

The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him.

And he's lucky, too.

His birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000

square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top

of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends!

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