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LORD_ED
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as some of u dont know me i thought id put up some facts about me

-Stray dogs and cats are not "put to sleep". They are devoured whole by ED

-When ED drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.

-When ED goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

-In an average living room there are 1,242 objects ED could use to kill you, including the room itself.

-When ED was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's ED!" Then she had had s*x with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

-ED once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors. (its a contender for my favourite )

-Crop circles are ED's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.

-There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures ED allows to live.

-When ED jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets ED instead.

-ED is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for ED.

-ED has two speeds: walk and kill.

-ED coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

-ED once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

-ED has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULL****!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.

-ED is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's Sh*t. ()

-You are what you eat. That is why EDS diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

-In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by ED, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

-ED can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

-ED is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

-ED can divide by zero.

-ED doesn't believe in rubber condoms. Instead, he sticks his ***** in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while ****ing another.

-ED was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital.

-ED played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.

-If you were to lock ED in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for !Removed!." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.

-The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when ED punched himself in the face.

-To attain inner peace, ED eats Buddhists.

-ED invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

-On his birthday, ED randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

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-ED has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULL****!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.

-If you were to lock ED in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for !Removed!." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.

Who is Vin? :P

Class anyway! :lol::thumbsup:

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