Mary Whitheouse's Fave Word Game? (adultish)

[Captain Weirdbeard]

I miss Harry Enfield's character who stands at the bar making use of some extraordinary sounding words to describe his sexual exploits. Older members will remember how Ronnie Barker used to pull out some pearlers too.

In the same sort of theme, this is the sort of thread where you can say stuff that makes you larf without being offensive in the process. Keep them short and snappy if you can. If the site swear filter kicks in on your post don't worry too much - we're all clever enough to work out what you intended, just don't make a habit of it.

Examples to kick off with could be:

Snarly Old Plumper (taken from some spam title before it got trashed in my filter... honestly)

W a n k e l Rotary Engine (thanks to the manufacturers and Monty P)

Frettled Grunt Buggly (Doug Adams)

One explicit rule (unless more are necessary as deemed by the moderators)-

You must not use this thread to post swear words, obscenities or profanity in general.

Please take part in this for fun. If you want to vent your frustration by posting made up expletives, like NADGERS! or FARKWHELK!!! and you are confident enough to do so in a friendly way, that's good too. Torrets Syndrome sufferers should perhaps be careful in here...

This could be a very fine line to walk... Good luck.

[Raistlin]

sounds like "bill hooks" to me

[Captain Weirdbeard]

Spot on, my friend

[Captain Weirdbeard]

Oi loikes CTScompressors. Oi loikes Avensissis too.

Mowst of orl, oi loikes a good slap in the belly with a wet fish.

[chatman]

Crafty Butcher Like to take his meat around the back door

Fudge Nudger Employee of Cadburys on Sweet conveyor belt

Rear Gunner World War two gunner placed at rear of plane

Hand Shandy Drink in pub held in hand

Camels Toe Animal hoof often referred to as Beetles Bonnet

:P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P

[Captain Weirdbeard]

mmm, camel's toe pie. Lovely.

I used to be a merchant banker, til I lost my deposit on one.

Splodgemungeous!

[chatman]

signing the guest book

The use of restroom facilities without making a purchase. 'I was touching cloth, so I nipped into the King's Arms and signed the guest book.

Dutch oven

Beneath the bedclothes after someone has played ‘Reveille' on the botty bugle...

hag

Ugly woman; boiler; boot; steg; swamp donkey.

[Kev Mc]

Dirty Sanchez

...erm, nah, better not

[chatman]

scouser's laptop

A pizza.

:lol: :lol:

[silversurfer]

throw a sausage up an alley!!

muckin fuddle!

[Captain Weirdbeard]

Dutch oven

Beneath the bedclothes after someone has played ‘Reveille' on the botty bugle...

]Howling[ Were you thinking of this perchance?

'Scuze me while I cut one loose...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAkWcbfEqNg

This was funny in a FUGMUNGEOUS sort of way too...

!Removed! gags (Look out! he's got a pun and he's not afraid to use it.) crack (good grief, stop me please) me up. But - Let's not get too carried away though (I'm telling myself more than anyone else) as this thread could end up as pure toilet humour. We're all better than that - aren't we guys? Oh, maybe not then.

All in fun.

[Captain Weirdbeard]

I give you, ladies and gentlemen, the all time master of gibberish... Mr Stanley Unwin

Ahthankew!

[Captain Weirdbeard]

Stop me if I'm boring you...

Carry on posting...

[Captain Weirdbeard]

How's this for absurd?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bz6KHhRGVKs

[chatman]

How's this for absurd?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bz6KHhRGVKs

WTF :eek: they must have been high on pot.....TV how it used to be.......

[Captain Weirdbeard]

I don't know what's wrong with forums these days... I mean, there's just not enough surrealism in them so I think I'm going to have to do my bit to balance it all out.

Chatman mate, if you think the last lot were on pot, wait 'till you see these:

]shifting tongue from inside one cheek to the other[

A few words from Lewis Carroll:

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun

The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:

Long time the manxome foe he sought --

So rested he by the Tumtum tree,

And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,

The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,

Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,

And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through

The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

He left it dead, and with its head

He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?

Come to my arms, my beamish boy!

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'

He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

http://www.jabberwocky.com/carroll/jabber/

[Captain Weirdbeard]

Nerds have their own sense of humour. No offence to anyone reading but believe me, it is theirs alone...

http://lukasland.com/humour/Funstuff/Scare-People.htm

After all, they are far too intelligent to laugh at normal stuff. (I should start worrying. Some of that stuff actually tickled my chortle bone.)

"Botty Bugle" - I'm still creased up over that one Chatman. One day I hope to be able to play my own signature tune.

[Jamesb4uk]

Nerds have their own sense of humour. No offence to anyone reading but believe me, it is theirs alone...

http://lukasland.com/humour/Funstuff/Scare-People.htm

After all, they are far too intelligent to laugh at normal stuff. (I should start worrying. Some of that stuff actually tickled my chortle bone.)

Sadly i found that very funny

Then again i am a proffesional nerd anyway.... :!Removed!:

J