Blondes

[Raistlin]

All time favorite blonde jokes

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one

blonde says to the other,

"Which do you think is farther away...Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see

Florida?????"

CAR TROU BLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it

died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if

he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together.

Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to

show it to you!"

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees

another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I

get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down

the river and shouts back, You ARE on the other side."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her

body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor.

"Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and

screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed

her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed..

Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.

Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind

the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the

trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled,

"PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian

said, "We were the first in space!"

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.

"

You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at

night!"

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She

rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was,

"If you are

in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,

and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying

that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said,

"Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"

[houston]

10 percent of blondes have smart genes inside them at one point, the other 90 percent spit it out!

[Calisto]

10 percent of blondes have smart genes inside them at one point, the other 90 percent spit it out!

:D thats better than all the blond jokes put together

But they were good Raistlin B)

[DCM]

A blonde was speeding down the motorway in her sports car when she was pulled over by a BLONDE policewoman,

"can i see your licence please" says the policewoman,

"sure" says the blonde, looking through her bag and the glovebox but with no joy,

" Im sorry " says the blonde looking very confused " but what does my licence look like?"

" It is small and rectangular and has your picture on it" replies the blonde policewoman,

looking again the blonde finds her small make-up mirror in her bag, looks at it, see's her reflection and says,

" I think i have it " and she passes the mirror to the blonde policewoman,

the policewoman looks at it, passes it back and says,

" thats ok, you can drive on, i didnt realise you were a policewoman as well !! "