Gay Test

[Hou]

Just got this on email, sorry to any genuine homosexuals

I don't want to hear about it if there are any 'metrosexuals' out there either.

Here is the ultimate test to see if you are !Removed!.

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are !Removed!.

It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have

spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the

Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog,

but !Removed! -- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a

delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And

just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get

your ***** over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a

cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're fit to be

framed, you're so !Removed!.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such

nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on

bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs

feet, or !Removed!. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a !Removed!.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or ***** in a

parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is

his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases. A man can crap

in a port-o-potty 3-weeks past due on its cleaning date. If you plan

your day around when and where you're going to defecate, you're as !Removed!

as a handbag full of unicorns.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will

never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy

Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too, pole-smoker.

6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four

different types of dessert, other than ice cream and pie, you might as

well be handing out free ***** passes. A real man doesn't have memory

space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out

chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is you're !Removed!. And if you can

name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are

faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to

tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at

a slow-***** driver or to cut the ***** off. The rest of the time he needs

that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list

because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely

on the verge of being a fudgepacker.

[Calisto]

That's fab and uber gay!.

[Aldridge Andy]

Marvelous... I'm just surprised there's no mention of Steps, Vodka, Cabaret, and Pricilla Queen Of The Desert... ;o)

Hope I haven't blown my cover! ;o)

[Calisto]

And you used the word "blown" :P

[vmail]

you forgot to say if you wear a pink hat or drive a pink car then you are ghey

[cfc1]

Just got this on email, sorry to any genuine homosexuals

I don't want to hear about it if there are any 'metrosexuals' out there either.

Here is the ultimate test to see if you are !Removed!.

Cut to the chase m8... did you pass?

Before you ask.. I failed big time :D

[flexy7]

!

[Hou]

I am actaully straight according to that test haha

[Red Yaris 54]

I am actaully straight according to that test haha

Maybe the test is flawed then? ;) :P

[Kev Mc]

Better test:

1) Do you like to engage in sexual intercourse with somebody who is the same s*x as you?

2) Do you dislike to engage in sexual intercourse with somebody who is the opposite s*x from you?

If the answer to both is "Yes", you're a poof

[Boro Sera]

You could be a bit more subtle Kev, using questions like these

do you have a penchant for Gardening - Particularly the uphill variety?

If you worked in the Cadbury's chocolate factory would you be :

i) Curly Wurly quality control

ii) Bournville production assistant

iii) !Removed!

[dave.m]

You could be a bit more subtle Kev, using questions like these

do you have a penchant for Gardening - Particularly the uphill variety?

If you worked in the Cadbury's chocolate factory would you be :

i) Curly Wurly quality control

ii) Bournville production assistant

iii) Fudge Packer

If you were in the RAF, would you be a Tail Gunner ?

[dave.m]

You could be a bit more subtle Kev, using questions like these

do you have a penchant for Gardening - Particularly the uphill variety?

If you worked in the Cadbury's chocolate factory would you be :

i) Curly Wurly quality control

ii) Bournville production assistant

iii) Fudge Packer

If you were in the RAF, would you be a Tail Gunner ?

Or in the Navy, would you be a Rear Admiral ?

[Blue84]

Or in the Navy, would you be a Rear Admiral ?

Haha well said, well said :D

[m4hfu3]

loool this thread is hilarious haha...

the best one i think is if a man wears jeans which are tooo tight or underpants instead of boxers lool

oh yeh and the lollipop thing lool