Jump to content
Do Not Sell My Personal Information

  • Join Toyota Owners Club

    Join Europe's Largest Toyota Community! It's FREE!



To All Toc Members...


Recommended Posts


From me ("the wisher") to you ("the wishee") Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the northern hemisphere winter solstice / southern hemisphere summer solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I wish you a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that:-

This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal

This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wisher are acknowledged.

This greeting implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes.

This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

The wisher warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Any references in this greeting to "the Lord", "Father Christmas", "Wise Men", "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you very much for your felicitations (I think) :lol: & may I reciprocate in kind ! :newyear::cheers:

Didn't realise you were a lawyer :lol2:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Technical Night Before Christmas

'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual

Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic

activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential,

including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus.

Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood

burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure

regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist


whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas.

The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective

accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconcious visual

hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically

through their cerebrums.

My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal had coverings,


about to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon

the avenaceous exterior portion of the grounds there ascended such a

cacophony of dissonance that I felt compelled to arise with alacrity

from my place of repose for the purpose of ascertaining the precise

source thereof.

Hastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers sealing


fenestration, nothing thereupon that the lunar brilliance without,

reflected as it was on the surface of a recent crystalline

precipitation, might be said rival that of the solar meridian itself -

thus permitting my incredulous optical sensory organs to behold a

miniature airborne runnered conveyance drawn by eight diminutive

specimens of the genus Rangifer, piloted by a miniscule, aged


so ebullient and nimble that it became instantly

apparent to me that he was indeed our anticipated caller.

With his ungulate motive power travelling at what may possibly have


more vertignious velocity than patriotic alar predators, he


loudly, expelled breath musically through contracted labia, and

addressed each of the octet by his or her respective cognomen - "Now

Dasher, now Dancer..." et al. - guiding them to the uppermost level of

our abode, through which structure I could readily distinguish the

concatenations of each of the 32 cloven pedal


As I retracted my cranium from its erstwhile location, and was

performing a 180-degree pivot, our distinguished visitant achieved -

with utmost celerity and via a downward leap - entry by wary of the

smoke passage.

He was clad entirely in animal pelts soiled by the ebony residue from

oxidations of carboniferous fuels which had accumulated on the walls

thereof. His resemblance to a street vendor I attributed largely to


plethora of assorted playthings which he bore dorsally in a commodius

cloth receptacle.

His orbs were scintillant with reflected luminosity, while his

submaxillary dermal indentations gave every evidence of engaging

amiability. The capillaries of his malar regions and nasal


were engorged with blood which suffused the subcutaneous layers, the

former approximating the coloration of Albion's floral emblem, the

latter that of the Prunus avium, or sweet cherry.

His amusing sub and supralabials resembled nothing so much as a common

loop knot, and their ambient hirsute facial adornment appeared like

small, tabular and columnar crystals of frozen water. Clenched firmly

between his incisors was a smoking piece whose grey fumes forming a

tenuous elllipse about his occiput, were suggestive of a decorative

seasonal circlet of holly.

His visage was wider than it was high, and when he waxed audibly

mirthful, his corpulent abdominal region undulated in the manner of

impectinated fruit syrup in a hemispherical container. He was, in

short, neither more nor less than an obese, jocund, multigenarian


the optical perception of whom rendered me visibly frolicsome despite

every effort to refrain from so being.

By rapidly lowering and than elevating one eyelid and rotating his


slightly to one side, he indicated that trepidation on my part was


Without utterance and with dispatch, he commenced filling the

aforementioned appended hosiery with various of the aforementioned

articles of merchandise extracted from the aforementioned previously

dorsally transported cloth receptacle.

Upon completion of this task, he executed an abrupt aboutface,

placed a single manual digit in lateral juxtaposition to his olfactory

organ, inclined his cranium forward in a gesture of leave-taking, and

forthwith effected his egress by renegotiating (in reverse) the smoke


He then propelled himself in a short vector onto his conveyance,

directed a musical expulsion of air through his contracted oral

sphincter to the antlered quadrupeds of burden, and proceeded to soar

aloft in a movement hitherto observable chiefly among the seed-bearing

portions of a common weed.

But I overheard his parting exclamation, audible immediately prior to

his vehiculation beyond the limits of visibility: "Ecstatic Yuletide


the planetary constituency, and to that self same assemblage, my

sincerest wishes for a salubriously beneficial and gratifyingly

pleasurable period between sunset and dawn.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Can't be bothered reading that, someone sum it up for me in 10 words or less

Merry Chrimbo??? or a shortened version............Greetings :lol:

Kingo :thumbsup:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Night Before Christmas, Legally Speaking:

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at

a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a

general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not

limited to, a mouse.

A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed

by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that

St. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus")

would arrive at sometime thereafter. The minor residents, i.e. the

children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual

beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein

vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies,

nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said


Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to

as "I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the parts

of the second part (hereinafter "Mamma"), and said Mamma had retired for

a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in

various forms of headgear, e.g. kerchief and cap.)

Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the

unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e. the

lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance.

The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the

House to investigate the cause of such disturbance. At that time, the

party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or

disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter "the Vehicle") being pulled

and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8)

reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the

previously referenced Claus. Said Claus was providing specific direction,

instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8)reindeer and

specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by


Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen

(hereinafter "the Deer"). (Upon information and belief, it is further

asserted that an additional co-conspirator named "Rudolph" may have been


The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer

intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several

residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and

noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other

items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or

permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House,

and Claus entered said House via the chimney. Said Claus was clad in a

red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney,

and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the aforementioned

packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to

be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and

health regulations.

Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the

minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other

small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said

minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.) Upon

completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew,

rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the

Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as "lookouts." Claus immediately

departed for an unknown destination.

However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said

House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim:

"Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" Or words to that effect.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Latest Deals

Toyota Official Store for genuine Toyota parts & accessories

Disclaimer: As the club is an eBay Partner, The club may be compensated if you make a purchase via eBay links

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Create New...