Parental Dilemma

[balli hi]

My wife and i have been posed a bit of a dilemma from our teenage daughter this evening , we have had tears and tantrums from her because when she asked if she could go to the READING music FESTIVAL in august, we both said no, because we are worried for her safety, plus she is in our eyes a bit too young to be going to such an event and spending 3 nights in a tent.

She says all her freinds parents have said yes and she'll be the only one not going, our daughter is only 16 although she will be seventeen by the time the festival comes round, my thinking is that there will be lots of alcohol and not to mention boys around.

I know as parents we have to learn to let go at some point, but are we wrong or being over cautious on this one ? anyone got any thougths / advice on this.

[Norfolk n Chance]

16?

At a guess she will have already discovered boys and booze

If she's in a big group she should be fine

[Demonic Angel]

I wish I'd got the chance to go to a festival at 16/17!

Depends on what sort of kid she is and who she's going with I guess.... is she the shy, retiring type who'll just go for the music or is she into drinking and boys? Is she going with a single close girlfriend or a group of mates?

If the latters, you've probably made the right decision!

Saying that, the experience of roughing it camping, walking in knee-high mud and having to go to the loo in a stinky Portaloo with no toilet roll might do her some good!

On another plus point, safety wise there will be lots of other people around and lots of security so she probably won't get into trouble.

Ultimately you're her parents, so its your call. Any decision you make will be best for her, as my parents decisions were for me! :D

[plus one]

when she says 'all my friends are going and their mums have said yes'

she actually means ' two of my friends are aloud to go but theirs mums arent happy about it and everyone else isnt aloud'

i used to use that all the time when my mum wouldnt let me go anywhere!!!

[Nettie McKenzie]

I would surmise that given your problem with women (eg women drivers supposedly using phones), that attendance at a good course for social communication and learning the concept of respect would be advantageous for you.

As 16 year olds have the right to marry, then its a bit raw trying to curtail their human rights as recognised in this country. Entrapment is a word that comes to mind.

[JappyBeast]

I have heard stories of peoples possessions getting nicked also!

[T V O R]

Ask for her friends names and check with their parents and maybe have a group get-together before they all go and lay down some ground rules?

Or let her go for two days (and one night) and you stay in a local B&B so you can take her there and bring her home but not be involved with the festival. That way you are near enough if she wants to bail out.

I’m sure there is some form of compromise to be found...

Click

[Leeky]

I've lived in Reading all my life.....i've seen the festival go'ers... im 27 and i've never been to the Festival even though its a 5min walk from my house...

i dont want to mix with all the weirdo's that go to the festival... its a right pain in the azz ever year when it happens....reading turns into a freak fest overnight...

Dont get me wrong, im not a classical music loving upper class toff......im a die hard Rammstein, Foo Fighters, Queens of the Stoneage and Rage Against the machine fan......but even i have no interest what so ever in rubbing shoulders with all the stoned and drunk people that flock to my home town every year just to catch a glimpse of my favourite bands...

Just my 2p...

[balli hi]

I would surmise that given your problem with women (eg women drivers supposedly using phones), that attendance at a good course for social communication and learning the concept of respect would be advantageous for you.

As 16 year olds have the right to marry, then its a bit raw trying to curtail their human rights as recognised in this country. Entrapment is a word that comes to mind.

Blimey i have rattled your cage hav'nt i .... entrapment ???????? what planet are you on, i reckon you should have a lay down in a darkened room , and calm down a bit

Ps

Also , 16 year olds might have the right to marry, but they don't all have jobs do they, so where do you think the money will come from to pay for Reading ? What about my wallets rights £ 200 for the ticket, and what about spending / food money.... now youv'e got me at it the money is a side issue, my wife and i, first and formost need to know that our daughter will be safe.

[martin_longbow]

At 17, Jeeze let her live dude.

Let her go! Be a good chap and find a good way to get her there, compromise has already been mentioned. Don't you want her to have fun. Then if this is what she wants then get her to the festival, what else are you doing. Is this not your job?

Newsflash **** teenager wants to go to a music festival with her friends*****

Up and down the country there are good festivals with little to no trouble, and where in all those festivals there is trouble, there must be a stat for this somewhere, it is most likely to be avoidable by a sensible girl in a group.

I know and understand your fears, I have a 16 year old son who is an idiot, I could not have imagined the stuff I would have to deal with with this boy. My 13 year old girl is already at all sorts of concerts, I think it is Endub or something like that this Friday. I am the taxi and our 17 yr old niece with be with her and her friend. She works hard (she is an Avon rep and doing well for a kid) and she bought the ticket herself. I was happy to buy one for our niece to attend with her. I imagine her the festival type, and when the time comes I will be trying to help her get there and back and remain safe.

What were you doing when you were 17

[Raistlin]

Trust her and let her go but be ready to pick up the pieces if it all goes wrong.

There is nothing she can't do there that she can't do at home

Just avoid the I told you this would happen speech. :shutit:

[balli hi]

At 17, Jeeze let her live dude.

Let her go! Be a good chap and find a good way to get her there, compromise has already been mentioned. Don't you want her to have fun. Then if this is what she wants then get her to the festival, what else are you doing. Is this not your job?

Newsflash **** teenager wants to go to a music festival with her friends*****

Up and down the country there are good festivals with little to no trouble, and where in all those festivals there is trouble, there must be a stat for this somewhere, it is most likely to be avoidable by a sensible girl in a group.

I know and understand your fears, I have a 16 year old son who is an idiot, I could not have imagined the stuff I would have to deal with with this boy. My 13 year old girl is already at all sorts of concerts, I think it is Endub or something like that this Friday. I am the taxi and our 17 yr old niece with be with her and her friend. She works hard (she is an Avon rep and doing well for a kid) and she bought the ticket herself. I was happy to buy one for our niece to attend with her. I imagine her the festival type, and when the time comes I will be trying to help her get there and back and remain safe.

What were you doing when you were 17

First of all thankyou everyone for your input.

being a parent is a learning curve, and i suppose you never stop .

Of course my wife and i want our daughter to enjoy herself and have fun, over the past few years she has been to quite a few concerts with her freinds, partys, trips away with the school including 1 week in iceland , she also had a week in spain with a group of freinds and one of the groups parents. And only last week she went on a learning trip to the western front in belgium with her college.

With regards to Reading, safety is the issue here,but although my wife and i have told our daughter no, we are still making our minds up which is why i have asked you guys for some input. anyway time is of the essence and we will need to decide by tomorrow as tickets are selling out.

if we do say yes, then she will be making up a group of five... once again thankyou all for your thoughts

[Bizarra]

Quote Leeky on a bit of a generalisation :(

"Dont get me wrong, im not a classical music loving upper class toff......"

To be fair about it, my CD collection is mainly Classical & car radio is permanently on Lyric FM which is our equivalent of Classic Fm. I am most definitely NOT an Upper class Toff

[ricc]

i was told time after time again by my parents that im 'too young' or 'you have go to be kidding me NOT a chance....EVER', soappeasing them i bought tickets for events via my friends and then just simply spent the weekend or evening ;) ;) thus having nice cover stories whilst out doing hwat they didnt want me to be. there eas never trouble.

im not saying everyone lies to parents, but my parents have recently be saying, we wish we had let to enjoy your life back in the day (after being diagnosed with an illness that prevents hobbies and events id love to do.)

Id say sit down ,talk about everything, maybe talk to another of the parents from the group going. it might give you a different view on them

you never know whast going to happn down the road, it could be great, and it could be a dissapointment. i say enjoy what you can do when you can do it. it may be the opportunity never arises agai. x

[bothwell_buyer]

Quote Leeky on a bit of a generalisation :(

"Dont get me wrong, im not a classical music loving upper class toff......"

To be fair about it, my CD collection is mainly Classical & car radio is permanently on Lyric FM which is our equivalent of Classic Fm. I am most definitely NOT an Upper class Toff

reading this post is hilarious.... :D

The role of a parent is to kick em out when they're 16 to fend fur thesels surely?? :lol: Good enuf fur the Victorians is what I said when I kicked my 4 out. Shower of spongers nowadays.

The thought of an upper class toff in Ireland - pmsl tbh

I know the place is fu of tattie-howking pheasants, supported by the EEC Agricultural policy. At least in England, some of the pheasants working the land have seen the opportunity of running music (?) open days on their fields to supplement the subsidies.....and if numpties are daft enough to pay £200 a ticket............

hmmmmm????

where do I start..... rent a local field > advertise a pop concert > dig a deep hole for the latrines (toilets) > rent out space for the burger vans > charge £200 for the 10,000 attendees > go and live in a warm country wi ma £3m.....gosh, I could become a banking wizard !! :lol:

And afore that arithmetic genius pipes up about the source of the other £1m, its from the sales of booze on site :D

[Karma Supra]

I went when I was 16, it was great... no s*x though.. not for lack of trying.

My tent did get broken (cut) into and my (empty) wallet was nicked... the secret is to bring nothing of value at all.

Radiohead, Kings of Leon and Queens of the Stoneage there this year.. at least three people are going at work including my manager who is "responsible" 30 married with child, house etc..

AS long as she is going with a decent group of mates it should be fine.

That said, I heard most of the tickets ere already gone!

That said as Lee said it can be a bit of a PITA for people that live/work nearby.. I work prettty much right opposite the entrance! It makes commuting hell for a couple of days.. plus festival goers seem to have little/no road sense!

[balli hi]

After" sleeping on it " and taking into account oppinions, my daughter is a very happy bunny thismorning,

As said she will be in agroup of five, but as suspected her " all my freinds are going " claim was not entirely true, as only 2 have so far acquired tickets, leaving her and the other 2 to try and secure theirs today.

[T V O R]

If she pays for the ticket them I would consider letting her go. If she is that keen then she will find a way of earning the money.

[balli hi]

If she pays for the ticket them I would consider letting her go. If she is that keen then she will find a way of earning the money.

Its her birthday a week before the festival, so we have decided to pay for the whole thing, ticket spending money Ect , as a birthday present.

[plus one]

but as suspected her " all my freinds are going " claim was not entirely true, as only 2 have so far acquired tickets, leaving her and the other 2 to try and secure theirs today.

haha love it!!! i used that line weekly when i was 16!!!!

[Leeky]

Quote Leeky on a bit of a generalisation :(

"Dont get me wrong, im not a classical music loving upper class toff......"

To be fair about it, my CD collection is mainly Classical & car radio is permanently on Lyric FM which is our equivalent of Classic Fm. I am most definitely NOT an Upper class Toff

You misread what i wrote. I didnt mean people who listen to classical music are upper class toffs. Because even i listen to classic fm sometimes

[bothwell_buyer]

Quote Leeky on a bit of a generalisation :(

"Dont get me wrong, im not a classical music loving upper class toff......"

To be fair about it, my CD collection is mainly Classical & car radio is permanently on Lyric FM which is our equivalent of Classic Fm. I am most definitely NOT an Upper class Toff

You misread what i wrote. I didnt mean people who listen to classical music are upper class toffs. Because even i listen to classic fm sometimes

naw - ye wur write furst time - classy music is fur classy toffs

gies abit o bagpipe screemin any day!!

[Pat2u]

As a parent of five children myself 3 boiuys twin girls "all grown up now" we had these issues arise however as parents you've got to give kids some trust, they will respect you more in the long run and by doing so she will not betray the trust you will have now shown by allowing her to go to the fest.

We all have to take the first step as parents and so have our children, its a learning curve for us all.

[Parts-King]

gies abit o bagpipe screemin any day!!

Ahh the sound of the whaling bag..........bagpipes that is, noooo Missus Kingo, cant beat it

Kingo

[Raistlin]

Quote Leeky on a bit of a generalisation :(

"Dont get me wrong, im not a classical music loving upper class toff......"

To be fair about it, my CD collection is mainly Classical & car radio is permanently on Lyric FM which is our equivalent of Classic Fm. I am most definitely NOT an Upper class Toff

You misread what i wrote. I didnt mean people who listen to classical music are upper class toffs. Because even i listen to classic fm sometimes

naw - ye wur write furst time - classy music is fur classy toffs

gies abit o bagpipe screemin any day!!

Do you know why bagpipers march whilst they play - They are trying to get away from the noise :D