Toc Humour!

[jerry phipps]

Hi everyone

Here's a little rib tickler for you guys and girls again :D

Enjoy

>>Subject: Sleeping beauty

>>

>>

>>

>>

>> A bit cruel..!!!

>>

>>Subject: Sleeping beauty

>>

>>

>>Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were all talking one day.

>>

>>Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl

>>

>>in the world." Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the

>>

>>world." Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the ugliest person

>>

>>in the world."

>>

>>They decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to have

>>

>>their claims verified.

>>

>>

>>Sleeping Beauty went first and came out looking deliriously happy.

>>

>>"It's official, I AM the most beautiful girl in the world,"

>>

>>

>>Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant, "I am officially the

>>smallest

>>

>>person in the world."

>>

>>

>>

>>Sometime later, Quasimodo came out looking confused and simply asked,

>>

>>"Who is this Camilla Parker Bowles?"

Jerry!!

[Tom.B]

:D Lol nice!!!!!!

[Boro Sera]

strange that. A joke about 3 characters who've appeared in cartoons, and the first 2 people to post are TOM and JERRY !

Nice one.

[jerry phipps]

strange that. A joke about 3 characters who've appeared in cartoons, and the first 2 people to post are TOM and JERRY !

Nice one.

←

:D Nice won like that

jerry!!

[Desmond22]

Just to keep up the high humour standard -

A jelly baby turned up at the doctors.

"I think I may have a sexually transmitted disease," the jelly baby confided, tearfully.

"That's ridiculous," responded the doctor. "Jelly babies cannot get sexually transmitted diseases."

"Oh yes we can," the jelly baby insisted. "I mean, I've been sleeping with Allsorts."

[Chappers]

Man: Doctor, Doctor, I've got problems with my hearing...

Doctor: Ok, What are the symptoms?

..

Man: A yellow cartoon family on the telly...

[Boro Sera]

A paper bag goes to the doctors feeling unwell. After running some tests the doctor informs him that he is HIV positive.

I can't be, says the bag, I never have unprotected s*x or inject drugs.

The doctor replies.....

It's hereditary, you're mother was a carrier !

[Demonic Angel]

Guffaw guffaw!

[Blue84]

LMAO

[cfc1]

How about this one......

The AOL car.

The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer.

The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player.

The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later.

The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars.

AOL would sell the same model car year after year and claim it's the NEW model.

Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would just "lock-up" for no apparent reason.

The AOL car would have a very plain body style but would have lots'a pretty colors and lights.

The AOL car would have only one door but it would have 5 extra seats for family members.

Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue to make payments for 6 months.

If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take the car off of them.

The AOL car would have an AOL Cell phone that can only place calls to other AOL car cell phones.

AOL would pass a new car law forbidding AOL car owners from driving near other car dealerships.

AOL car mechanics would have no experience in car repair.

Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make other peoples AOL cars stall just for fun.

It would not be possible to upgrade your AOL car stereo.

AOL cars would be forced to use AOL gas that cost 20% more and gave worse mileage.

Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car owner he would wonder, M/F/age? It would be common for AOL car owners to divorce just to marry another AOL car owner.

AOL car owners would always claim to be older or younger than they really are.

AOL cars would come with a steering wheel and AOL would claim no other cars have them.

Every time you close the door on the AOL car it would say, "Good-Bye."

And here's ne we will all know is only too true........

TOYOTA....

Toyota

Overcharges

You

On

Their

Accessories

[Boro Sera]

Just a wild guess here.......................don't you like AOL?

[stevetubbyturbo]

Just a wild guess here.......................don't you like AOL?

←

Does anyone

I found them usless

F.O.R.D

Fix

Or

Repair

Daily

L.O.T.U.S

Lots

Of

Trouble

Usually

Serious

[Boro Sera]

F.I.A.T

Fix

It

Again

Tomorrow

G.M

Garbage

Mainly

[Crisis]

Citroen (Made up on the spot)

Crap

Interior

Tends to

Rattle

O dear

Engine

Noise

Comon not that bad is it?

[Razor_Rage]

SUBARU

Screwed

Up

Beyond

All

Repair

Usually

[Desmond22]

BMW

Bust

My

Wallet

[Desmond22]

Merc

Must

Expect

Real

Crap

Couldn't think of any more!