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Leeky
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Real tech support conversation -

Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."

Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."

Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "What do you mean?"

Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

Why did the Leper go back into the shower? He forgot his Head and Shoulders.

Sheep Counting

A man once went to a sheep rancher and said, If I can guess how many sheep you have may I have one? Thinking this impossible, the rancher agreed, to which the man replied, You have 1,795 sheep. Now how did he get that? wondered the rancher as the man selected an animal, slung it over his shoulder and turned to leave.

Wait, called the rancher, If I can guess your occupation can I have that animal back? Sure, said the man. You're a bureaucrat, confirmed the rancher with a grin stretching from ear to ear. How did you figure that out? asked the stunned man. Well, grinned the rancher, put my dog down and I will tell you.

Little Johnny and his dad are walking in the park when they pass two dogs having intercourse. Daddy, what are those dogs doing? asks Little Johnny His dad explains, Well, son, the one on top hurt his foot, and his friend is carrying him home. Little Johnny looks back at the dogs and remarks, Geez, ain't that just like a friend? You try to help him out and he screws you every time!

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