Joke Of The Day

[cfc1]

A Police officer pulls over a speeding car.

!I clocked you at 80mph sir"

The driver says..

"Gee officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating"

Not looking up from her knitting his wife says..

"Now, don't be silly dear, you know this car doesn't have cruise control"

As the officer writes out the second ticket, the driver looks at his wife and growls...

"can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says..

"You should be thankfull your radar detector went off when it did"

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illeagle radar detection unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth..

"Darn it woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says...

"And i notice that your not wearing your seat belt. That's an automatic £50 fine"

The driver says..

"Yeah, well..you see officerI had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my licence out of my back pocket"

Thje wife says..

"Now dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on, you never wear your seat belt when your driving"

Ans as the officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks...

"WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over to the woman and asks..

"Does your husband always talk to you this way Ma'am?"

"Only when he has been drinking".. she said.

[Chuck04]

[JappyBeast]

old!

[Yaris SR Kid]

LOL

[Jamesb4uk]

J

[Paul C]

how about this one

~ A GOOD CATHOLIC ~

An elderly Italian man, who lived on the outskirts of Monte Cassino, went to the local church for confession.

When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said:

"Father ... during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. So I hid her in my attic."

The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did! You have no need to confess that."

"It's worse than that, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favours."

The priest said: "By doing that, you were both in great danger. However, two people under those circumstances can be very tempted to act that way. But if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."

"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. But I do have one more question."

"And what is that?" asked the priest.

"Should I tell her the war is over