Sunday Funnies

[Red Yaris 54]

A drunk was telling his friend about a party he had been to. "Lovely house with a solid gold urinal" he said. The friend pulled out his phone. "Tom" he said down the phone, " I've found out who pee'd in your saxaphone!"

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Husband: "Why don't you ever scream my name when you orgasm?"

Wife: "Cos' you're never there"

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A drunken fisherman cut a hole in the ice and was about to fish when he heard a voice say"There is no fish in there" He cut more holes and every time he heard the same voice. "Is that you God?" he said.

"No, you idiot" said the voice, " This is the ice rink manager"

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Q. What is a mixed feeling?

A. When you see your mother in law backing of a cliff in your new car

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Q. What is the definition of Macho?

A. Jogging home from your vasectomy

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Q. What is the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A. A man will actually search for a golf ball.

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Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and use it again.

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Q. What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

A. About three stone

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Q. Whats is the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

A. 45 minutes.

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Q. What does a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?

A. Their balls are just for decoration.

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Q. What is the difference between medium and rare?

A. Six inches is medium, Eight inches is rare.

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Thats all folks........................................for now