Toc Product Review

[Leeky]

Toc Product Review #0001

Up for review today is Strongbow Super.

First Impressions

First thing i noticed was the rather scary looking man holding the bow and arrow on the front of the can. One can only feel as though the contents of such a container carrying such a design was not meant for the use of mere mortals.

Luckly because of the visual diffrence between the normal product and this more 'intense' version, it makes it difficult to select the wrong product when one is not concentrating. Although as tests did prove, prolonged exprosure to Strongbow Super does make the simple task of telling the diffrence between the two products more difficult due to the reduction in the efficiency of ones eye sight and ones concious status.

Roadtest

Initially we find that the product tastes remarkably similar to the regular product. This was shortlived as the unexpected after-taste kicks in and you realise that you underestimated the powers of the scary viking man.

We were not completely satisfyed with our results from initial testing - thus decided to begin again from scratch until we had more 'conclusive' data.

Conclusion

To sum up Strongbow Super is a very unique drinking experience which i believe is only rivalled by other such 'homeless choice' as the famous Special Brew.

Compared to the normal product we would say that the extra 'kick' of this Super varient does indeed spoil the overall enjoyment of Strongbow as the state of drunkeness is achieve too early and this in turn spoils your evening as vomit is iminent while at the same point others are still enjoying themselves on their 'run of the mill' beverages.

Tests show that 'Strongbow Super' is available from very few outlets which is not surprising considering the fact that it is a product with very little demand next to other such produce.

We award this product 6/10.

[Bibbs]

Toc Product Review #0002

Brylcreem "Strong" and "EasyWash" Hair Waxes

First Impressions

The pots of Hair Wax come in the retro style pots that your granddad use to use back in the 70's and 80's. Keeping with the retro look, Brylcreem have also kept thier traditional Lion logo.

We have trialed both the Strong Wax and the EasyWash Wax, the EasyWash over the summer and now the Strong as there is more moisture in the air.

Roadtest

The two waxes are vastly different in texture, the EasyWash is a soft glue like wax that is very easy to work into the hair root. The Strong is an almost solid wax that needs a bit of moisture in the hair (towel dried is fine).

Conclusion

The EasyWash is a great wax for general daytime use. The only issue is it's lack of hold when the hair becomes moist. 7/10

The Strong is a real favorite with the tester as it gives a good "messy" look and hold the style in all but the roughest contitions. 9/10

Keep listening for more useful product reviews coming to you soon.

[LORD_ED]

Toc Product Review #0003

PG tips Pyramid Bags

First Impressions

The packaging is the first thing that caught my eye. The box very much in the style of the cubist movement being a cubeish type shape. However once u press the panel and open the box and the aroma of “just the tips “ hits you. The bags are very well constructed and its obvious that you would be able to get two cups, at the very least, out of a single bag, rivalling competitors such as Ty-Phoo but how does it taste…..

Roadtest

To make test fair I made tea in my usual manner, wearing boxers flip flops and a comedy moustache. I place three bags into my tea pot and left for 5 minutes. When I returned I got my smarties mug (Easter ’88) and poured. I was amazed by what I saw a nice strong cup of tea which would satisfy any man woman or small antelope you should find.

Conclusion

A cracking cuppa and a great looking pack how can they fail 10/10

[Leeky]

Toc Product Review #0004

Today’s Review – Exlax Chocolate Laxitive.

First Impressions

Given the choice between the normal ‘tablet’ form and this ‘chocolate’ form, I thought this would be quite a tasty challenge.

Perhaps I could have gone as far as to make a mug of hot coco out of it, but I thought in the fairness of science I should consume the chocolate as it says on the back of the box.

ALWAYS READ THE LABEL!

Roadtest

On first taste I did indeed think that someone at the factory had confused the contents of my box with the contents of ones toilet after the product had taken effect.

This product tastes terrible and I do wish now that I had purchased the tablet version. But for the greater glory of the review I pushed on to complete the test.

Unfortunately I miss-read the instructions on the box, and consumed enough chocolate to clean out the inside of the Channel Tunnel. Sixty minutes later I made my way towards the water closet.

At this moment in time I was in considerable discomfort and feeling rather dizzy. Luckly ones parents had just done the weekly shop thus the quilted velvet was in healthy stock.

Conclusion

Taste on a scale of 1 to 10 (i.e 1 being sweet sweat off of a maiden’s bussom and 10 being something similar to the stuff that grows on the devils anal mullet) I would say this chocolate is a definitive 9.5

It shares the same taste of a thoroughly burnt pizza, and also lingers in your mouth just as long no matter how much one brushes ones teeth.

Although I will admit that since trying this product out I have lost 2stone in body weight.

Overall this product reminds me very much of a hot exhaust pipe off of a Ferrari F355.

Looks great, you could even eat it but blimey it hurts when you do.

We award this product 3/10.