Tell Me This Won't Happen To Us, Please!

[cfc1]

Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night

the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She

yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see."

She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or

down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea

listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope

I never get that forgetful," as she knocked on her wooden table for

good measure. " She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you

as soon as I see who's at the door."

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"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine

March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the

second man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in,

"So am I. Let's have a beer."

___________________________________________

WHAT A CHOICE

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing

home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and

say, "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair.

Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for

a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."

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OLD FRIENDS

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the

years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.

Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a

week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked

at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me . I know we've been

friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've

thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what

your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes

she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do

you need to know?"

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SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone

rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,

"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong

way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!" "Hell," said Herman, "It's

not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

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DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both could barely

see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an

intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing

it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a

few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light

was red again.

Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was

almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned

that she was losing it.! She was getting nervous. At the next

intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on

through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, do

you know that we just ran through three redlights in a row? You

could have killed us both!"

Mildred turned to her and said, "Crap, am I driving?"

______________________________________________________

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her

car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her

situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the

steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she

cried. The dispatcher say, "Stay calm, Maam, an officer is on the

way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in.

"Disregard.", He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US, PLEASE!!!!

Ok,OK,OK.. you can stop groaning now.

[Al J]

Probably will happen. I'm 52 now so I'll let you know in a short while.

what was the question again?