How To Dump Your Bird....?

[Jimlad]

Ok... topic says it all..... " How to dump your bird "..

any ideas?

It's not as easy as saying... "you're dumped"

Would be better if there was a magical button you could press and everything would be sorted. We have a house also, which is gonna be a pain in the ***** to sort out.

But how do you do the initial part ?? Short of getting caught in the sack with someone else.. is there an easy way ?

[Hou]

yeah give her a computer and a link to this post and she'll dump you!!!

[Fidgits]

well, the best approach is as follows...

Take her to a restaraunt, busy, but not too noisey (less chance of a scene)..

Look her in the eyes, and [amazingly] be honest.

Say, "Look I'm sorry, but its just not working for me. I'm not happy in this relationship, but your a great person, but I'm just not in love with you."

Avoid the cliche lines at all costs, just be straight (dont say you've found someone else), just say you want some time to yourself, you need to work out what you want out of life.

Apologise for leading her on, and be polite and wish her all the best, and say "I hope you find someone who loves you the way you deserve". (great parting line).

Oh, and pay for the meal...

[Jimlad]

yeah give her a computer and a link to this post and she'll dump you!!!

good idea..... lol

one of my mates is in the exact same predicament. We've tried being c*nts so they dump us... but it doesn't work.

Might sound like I'm/we're being cruel buggers etc... but it's just come to the point where we realised it's not what we want anymore. Me and my mate.

and no.... we're not wanting to be quear together... lol

[Jimlad]

well, the best approach is as follows...

Take her to a restaraunt, busy, but not too noisey (less chance of a scene)..

Look her in the eyes, and [amazingly] be honest.

Say, "Look I'm sorry, but its just not working for me. I'm not happy in this relationship, but your a great person, but I'm just not in love with you."

Avoid the cliche lines at all costs, just be straight (dont say you've found someone else), just say you want some time to yourself, you need to work out what you want out of life.

Apologise for leading her on, and be polite and wish her all the best, and say "I hope you find someone who loves you the way you deserve". (great parting line).

Oh, and pay for the meal...

in a restaraunt ?? ... imagine the waterworks !!

Plus... I would need to drive back home with her in the car. :(

I agree honesty is the best way... but it sure is hard. I split up with my last woman a few years back.. and that was just crazy !

[Fidgits]

Better to do it in public mate, less chance of her bursting into tears and making a scene..

[Hou]

just wait tioll you are alone together,sit back from her,sigh,put a sad face on then break the ice with,its not working is it,im just not having fun anymore,then shut up ansd see what she says,she may feel the same!Didnt know this was dear deerdry

[knowlson]

and no.... we're not wanting to be quear together... lol

Tell her you and your mate are !Removed!

[Jimlad]

made a duff post... lol

[Jimlad]

and no.... we're not wanting to be quear together... lol

Tell her you and your mate are !Removed!

lol. ... we have thought of that... but then the rumours would get about... and that wouldn't be fun !!

[Jimlad]

just wait tioll you are alone together,sit back from her,sigh,put a sad face on then break the ice with,its not working is it,im just not having fun anymore,then shut up ansd see what she says,she may feel the same!Didnt know this was dear deerdry

it'll probably be a case of see what she throws at me first !

Anyway.. not dear deardy ... dear toc folks.. lol

Just thought with the difference of age of all members that there might be some good advice out there.

[Hou]

well im 19 and my best excuses are normally the you deserve better,we arent happy and be friends(incase you need s*x)

[yannick]

Just thought with the difference of age of all members that there might be some good advice out there.

I haven't noticed it getting easier with age

[Jimlad]

joy... could be a fun night of tears and items being thrown at my head then.....

[Jimlad]

this is driving me mad !! argh !

Anyone recommend packing my car up ( can't fit much in it mind.. lol ) and driving to my parents, leaving a note ??

or is that a bad idea ?

[knowlson]

this is driving me mad !! argh !

Anyone recommend packing my car up ( can't fit much in it mind.. lol ) and driving to my parents, leaving a note ??

or is that a bad idea ?

what would the note say??

YOUR DUMPED PLEASE DONT SMASH MY STUFF XX

[Starlet Nath]

Is the morgage in your name? Or both your names?

Why should you have to go to your parents?

If you take her out for a meal and tell her, she'll probably get her stuff and move out

I know it's hard matey, but you'll feel better once its done :D

[yannick]

this is driving me mad !! argh !

Anyone recommend packing my car up ( can't fit much in it mind.. lol ) and driving to my parents, leaving a note ??

or is that a bad idea ?

No no no! Very bad idea! :crutchy:

Do what the others have said - be honest & talk about it. :fishyface: She'll feel better for it, and a few hours of purgatory will avoid you any complications later on - especially if you've got the house to sort out!

All the best anyway

[Jimlad]

this is driving me mad !! argh !

Anyone recommend packing my car up ( can't fit much in it mind.. lol ) and driving to my parents, leaving a note ??

or is that a bad idea ?

what would the note say??

YOUR DUMPED PLEASE DONT SMASH MY STUFF XX

lo.l.... mroe or less.

I only really have my computer etc and clothes. So I should be able to fit it into me car. If not my mate is actually coming up tomorrow so between us we should get it all done. Also would have to get the bodykit along to the bodyshop.

Worry thing is she would maybe smash up any stuff I left behind.

My last GF, destroyed my guitar, ripped up all my magazines and cut the laces on my shoes for some reason !! It wasn't until I put them on to goto work that I noticed..... crazy females !

[Jimlad]

Is the morgage in your name? Or both your names?

Why should you have to go to your parents?

If you take her out for a meal and tell her, she'll probably get her stuff and move out 

I know it's hard matey, but you'll feel better once its done  :D

both names.....

I would be moving back to the town where my parents are anyway and get my own place or get a place with a mate ... so unless she wanted the house, we would have to sell it. Or I could possibly keep it if she moved away..... I dunno.

What happens with morgages etc in this sorta situation ? Can you sign it over to one person ?

[Jimlad]

this is driving me mad !! argh !

Anyone recommend packing my car up ( can't fit much in it mind.. lol ) and driving to my parents, leaving a note ??

or is that a bad idea ?

No no no! Very bad idea! :crutchy:

Do what the others have said - be honest & talk about it. :fishyface: She'll feel better for it, and a few hours of purgatory will avoid you any complications later on - especially if you've got the house to sort out!

All the best anyway

not recommended then..... mmm..... ok

would be easier tho....

[Jimlad]

also just thought.... what's this "common law wife" stuff ???

Is she entitled to 1/2 my stuff or something ???

[yannick]

also just thought.... what's this "common law wife" stuff ???

Is she entitled to 1/2 my stuff or something ???

AFAIK this is a Scotland-specific thing. It can give her pretty well the same privileges as a wife in certain circumstances (for example your death ), but I'm not sure if it applies to a separation.

I'm a bit too much out of touch with Scottish law to be of much more help I'm afraid... :(

Don't have experience with dual name mortgages, but I think that you need to close the contract that's in both names and if one of you wants to keep it a new contact needs to be drawn up under that person's name alone. If you were depending on both your salaries you might find that you're forced to sell.

[Jimlad]

ok folks... cheers for the advice.

If I'm not on here for a few days it's because I'm dead and I've been buried under the patio at the back door.

Gonna just play it by ear and see what happens, not sure of what I'm gonna do yet tho.

[yannick]

Gonna just play it by ear and see what happens, not sure of what I'm gonna do yet tho.

That's the only way to do it I'm afraid... if there was a magic formula there'd be books written about it

All the best, and it'd be a good idea if you got legal advice for the house, even if it's just Citizen's Advice (they're sure to have encountered other similar cases )